To be honest, that was the first time I was seeing that phrase.
We often see ‘Relationship Goals‘, ‘Marriage Goals’, ‘Career Goals‘. I once saw ‘Baby room goals‘, when someone shared the picture of her daughter’s room.
But Sibling Goals was new. The comment appeared on my social media feed when someone updated a picture of his siblings.
In the ensuing conversation, I realised that a lot of people are not very close to their siblings. Hugs and ‘I Love Yous’ were out of the question. That’s fine. Quite a lot of Nigerian families are not big on Hugs and I Love Yous, and siblings get into this habit usually when they are much older.
‘We don’t even always remember each other’s birthday’. I was kind of shocked at that comment. I sometimes need two seconds to remember how old my siblings are (I always think they are much younger) but I never forget their birthdays.
I remember before my last sister was born. We were already four kids: 2 boys and 2 girls. So each team was so keen to have an additional member. Obviously, the girls won. I vaguely remember us sitting on the floor gathering round my mum and singing ‘My mummy is having a baby, it’s coming from heaven above, my mummy is having a baby, we’ll give it a name, it’s all been arranged and most important of all we’d give it our love’ (Please does anyone remember this song?)
Growing up, we didn’t have that perfect sibling bond – we had the usual fights and quarrels. I particularly remember an episode of my sister tipping a plate of spaghetti over my head. She also hated to share her clothes or belongings. But we often wore matching clothes – the one time we wore yellow dungarees was my best!. We were so cute.
My elder brother and I often fought for the computer. When I got the chance I’ll lock myself in my parents’ room watching Sound of Music over and over again. I played football with him and his friends – but I’m not quite sure why he never picked me to be on his team. After our house had been burgled a couple of times, we were watching a TV show which had lots of soldiers, so my brother and I used a bat to hit the TV, so the soldiers could come and guard our house. (Someone told me this story, I refuse to believe I was ever that dumb).
Because of my youngest sister, I’m so scared of carrying babies. When I was nine, and she a few weeks old, I was carrying her on my shoulders and she fell from my hands back onto the ground. I’ve lived with that fear for a long time now! I also remember one time I was very upset with her ‘How dare you shave your eyebrows at 13?’. Now she has the ‘fleekiest’ eyebrows of us three and sent me step by step photos a few weeks ago. I still can’t get the hang of it.
Interestingly I can’t remember any childhood quarrels with my younger brother. I’m sure there were many though. I thought he was going to become a comedian – he had jokes! We’ll record these and I often shared with my room-mates at school. Some of them still ask ‘How’s that your funny brother?’. We deceived him a lot though, especially when we wanted to eat his food. All you had to do was pretend to cough without covering your mouth – that’s it. He wasn’t eating any more. And then, he started this thing of how you had to cover your bum when you farted. Haha.
I wish I had all these childhood moments on video. I couldn’t even imagine life without my siblings. In recent times, we had dubbed Saturday morning in the house as ‘Sharing Life Issues Time’. It was a mockery of a real radio show called Sharing Life Issues. We would sit on one spot from 9 am till about 1 pm – talking, laughing and arguing. Till my mum realises that ‘This can’t be right in an African household’, and begins to dish out orders for chores to be done.
It feels a bit weird sometimes, that I’m now married and out of the house. But hey, life happens and each person with their own daily challenges.
We’ve gone through so much together – good and not-so-good and all I want for us all is Happiness. And Fulfilment. Pure and Unadulterated.
And oh, as per sibling goals: I really want a vacation with the 5 of us in an exotic beach, perfectly toned bodies and credit cards that we aren’t afraid to swipe. Throw in lots of laughter and cocktails for me of course. That’ll come soon! I can feel it…
Are you really close to your siblings? Share your fondest memories and your sibling goals!
If you are not, I think it’s worth making an effort. It’s never too late.
pS: When your younger brother who is still in Uni saves all his money and buys cartons of champagne to pop at your wedding, that’s definitely Sibling Goals right? He had to pop about 4 bottles to get that picture. Lol!
ppS: Apparently, it was National Sibling Day on April 10. Seems there’s a day for everything these days.