It’s Valentine day, and my ‘experience’ today reminds me of one of the first times this realisation hit me. I don’t like cakes. No matter how sweet, sugary, scrumptious or spongy it looks. Nope. Not a fan. So I was a bit disappointed when by about 7 pm on my 25th Birthday, all I had received from Tee was an amazingly decorated and lovely looking cake.

Bleh! It was still a cake.

It didn’t matter that he was ‘overseas’ and had managed to order this for me in Nigeria.

It didn’t matter that the delivery guys had braved the odds to find my house tucked in the not-so-common parts of Lagos.

No. All that mattered was that I wanted a gift, you know? Like a tangible gift.

Shoes? Jewellery? Books? It didn’t matter. As long as I could have it in a few years and say ‘Awww that’s what’s Tee got for me on my 25th birthday!’

But Tee was Hurt. Distraught. Downcast. That I made such a huge deal of receiving a physical gift.

Tee loves experiences. He’ll arrange a surprise birthday party with all your friends; He’ll take you to dinner and have someone sing to you in public; He’ll drive three hours from Malaga in Spain to Altura in Portugal just so you can have an additional country on your imaginary list ticked off; He’ll arrange a spa session for you.

No, I don’t hate experiences. But think about this. They all involve an additional person. Guests at the surprise birthday; Your boo at the dinner and at the surprise holiday getaway; and even if it’s a spa date, the masseuse is probably having too much fun at her job!

So no, I just want something that’s all mine. No sharing. Yeah, there’s a bit of selfishness in us all.

Actually, I want both. Okay. Selfishness and Greed. Arrgh.

And that dear friends is the crux of this post.

What would you rather have on days such as Valentine and Birthdays? An experience with your Boo or Bae? A Gift to Cuddle? Both? Or are you one of the few who think ‘Just give me the darn money!’

PS: Apparently my 25th birthday gift had just been delayed in the post. Sigh. Patience is a virtue. Imagine if we broke up over that squabble. I’d have been too ashamed and this post would never have been written.

PPS: If you aren’t receiving what you’ll rather have, it’s BEST to talk things through with your BAE and let them know.