No man is an island.
You’ve probably heard that before. And it’s true. Man innately craves inter-dependence and support. The mistake a few of us often make however is that we expect one person or a particular group of people to satisfy this need. So we believe that having a spouse or a few best friends removes the need to have anyone else in our corner.
But while these people are important, they honestly often cannot support the very many parts that make you whole. And even though your besties may be the ones to call at 2 am, they may not be the best people to give you some career advice.
So, I think these 5 support networks are pretty important to have:
If you’ve been reading this blog for a long time, you’ll remember this post about my Frolleague. Last week, I just had to call her to talk about work. While having a friend(s) at work is important, a larger support network is even more necessary. These people don’t have to be in the same office as you. But it’ll be helpful if they’re on the same career path. They have a good understanding of your field and you’re able to bounce ideas off each other in a bid to grow and develop together. My besties may be medical doctors and so trying to explain the legal market to them may not lead to the right support I need. Same goes for Students. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have had a first-class degree in both my undergrad LL.B and Nigerian Law School without a core support system. From studying together, sharing notes and dissecting legal cases and attempting to pull off all-nighters they provided the support required! It’s important that you check your network and ensure you have this one ticked right. Again, these people don’t have to be your best buds. But when it relates to your career, you know they’ll be there for you!
We pretty much agree it’s important to separate your 9-5 from your side hustle. Maybe because I’ve now started blogging (It’s been six months people!) can I appreciate the need for this particular support group! Honestly, my closest friends have no inkling about the blogosphere. They aren’t even on social media much, so I definitely cannot count on them to RT my tweets! Neither are they the ones I run to when I have constant questions on blogging. The blogging community has been so supportive and I’m happy to run to them with my questions (thanks a lot, people!). So it should be with you. Whatever your passion, you should have people you’re able to turn to – from natural hair enthusiasts to book lovers, find them! And if you’re in it for profit purposes, don’t let the fear of competition stop you from developing such a
Well, all work and no play isn’t the way. So career and side hustle aside, you need to chill. If your besties are in your city and into your kind of social activities then good for you! But for some strange reason, I’ve sort of realised that best buddies could sometimes be so different. So while one is all for crazy adventures like rock climbing, the other is happy to lie by a beach in Barbados! So, you need to have a group of peeps who are happy to discover all the new joints with you and feed your inner wanderlust.
If you’re the only one of your friends struggling to be fit as everyone else is naturally fit, then sticking with them 24/7 as they constantly order pizza and fries will not help. You need a fitness squad! Like I stated in my July recap, I was so concerned about my bingo wings and I joined Coach E’s online weight loss class. Fam, those ladies go in. From sharing photos of their healthy meals and their work out routine, I can’t help but pick up my 2kg dumbbells. Fitness is so in now, and nothing like someone else’s inspiration rubbing off on you. So go ahead, and find a fitness squad if you need it!
Last one on here, but definitely not the least. It’s important to have a group of people you relate to on this level. People who can challenge you, and help you grow. Last weekend on Twitter, I stumbled on a group of Christian ladies who meet up every Saturday in London to fellowship and talk about issues from a Christian perspective. On this day we talked about anxiety and mental health, which I’ve been pretty concerned about since I interviewed Rayo. I was pretty free that Saturday, so I met up with them and the picnic was so good. The Jollof rice made it so with it. I kid. The more important bit was the fellowship, and it was good to just be in their midst, sharing and praying. Here’s the Twitter handle if you’re in London and interested: @LWFITC – Ladies Who Fellowship in the City.
So that’s it peeps. This list is by no means exhaustive and the point to be taken away is support groups are needed. You may be a new mum and all your friends are still in the dating cycle. Well, find a support group! Now, you’re probably thinking so what are my besties for? Well for getting you food at 2am and laughing at your boring jokes. But seriously though, they could no doubt form part of some or all of these – but if not, then you need other kinds of support.
The great thing about support networks is that it doesn’t have to be physical. With social media everything can be virtual. Well, except of course your social network/travel buddies. I’ll imagine you actually want to hang out in real life and not you know, just online.
Any thoughts? Have I missed out a group? What’s your support network like – diverse or a tight bunch of the same group of people for everything?
Mz CharideeAugust 24, 2016 at 11:00
This writeup definitely makes a whole lot of sense. Having a diverse support group helps alot in as much as i find it difficult to maintain one. I need to try one of these roller coaster rides as an adult but the one in the photo looks extremely scary. First time commenting, although been following for a while, really nice blog you have here, but the hurdle one has to pass through to leave a comment for the first time ehn, chai!
Kachee || KacheeTee.comAugust 24, 2016 at 11:03
Girl! Serious hurdle! I’m so sorry. But once you set it up, it’s easy peasy and you’re always signed on. Sorry for the stress! Thank you for commenting. I really appreciate it! I agree that it can be difficult to maintain, but you don’t necessarily have to talk to them all he time – everyone understands that people get busy!
PreciousAugust 24, 2016 at 12:27
Amen. You can not do life alone so you need support groups to do life with.I was just thinking of this the other day: One will chase a thousand but two will chase ten thousand! How about three? Or four? Or a closely knitted family of love? As a Cameroonian adage stipulates, “one hand no fit tie bundle”. We need each other. Thanks for this important reminder, Kachee!www.preciouscore.com
Kachee || KacheeTee.comAugust 24, 2016 at 18:18
One hand no fit tie bundle ohh! So true! Thanks Precious!
NedouxAugust 25, 2016 at 12:41
Hi Lady P. I always look forward to seeing your comments on blogs, you know how to mix depth and humour perfectly. :-)”one hand no fit tie bundle” aptly sums up the message in Kachee’s insightful article. Lol
PreciousAugust 25, 2016 at 15:30
Nedoux, you are too kind!Thanks darling!!!
Arrey EchiSeptember 5, 2016 at 15:00
One hand no di tie bundle tru tru.
Olaa BobadeAugust 24, 2016 at 13:57
I’ll definitely go on that ride. Lol. I cannot but agree with you on this. Like, I have no blogger friends so I need blogger boos. Most of my friends in school aren’t even my classmates. I had to work on that too. I used to have a faith team but life happened and fitness squad? I’ll find the way to that. I enjoyed reading this Kachi. Laitanbee Blog
Kachee || KacheeTee.comAugust 24, 2016 at 18:18
Ah. That ride, o da bo!Hey blogger peeps are all around. all you have to do is pick any of us! I know, life happens sometimes, but we have to be intentional about it.
Candace McGeeAugust 24, 2016 at 14:52
Truth! I moved out of state less than a year ago and am still working on building up my different networks. I’m one of those social introverts so it’s easy to connect with people when I actually feel like going out lol thanks for reminding me to get my butt out there!http://thequirklife.com/
Kachee || KacheeTee.comAugust 24, 2016 at 18:16
I can be an introvert as well, socially. I had to try to hook up with some out-going peeps!
Okoro YvonneAugust 24, 2016 at 16:22
As individuals, we cannot exist totally being independent. We always need others to help us in one way. These five networks are very vital in our lives. Thanks for sharing.www.yvonnyblog.wordpress.com
Kachee || KacheeTee.comAugust 24, 2016 at 18:16
You’re welcome! Thanks for reading.
Berry DakaraAugust 24, 2016 at 22:55
I think the networks you mentioned are definitely spot on. Something I’ve recently been thinking about though are mentors. I don’t have any at all, and I think I’m doing myself a disservice. I think mentors for different facets of life from marriage to spiritual to career are important.Berry Dakara Blog
Kachee || KacheeTee.comAugust 25, 2016 at 00:51
I’m with you on this mentors thing. I’ve been thinking about it as well, because I don’t exactly have direct mentors I have a relationship with. Let’s see how it goes though.
TunrieAugust 25, 2016 at 09:57
Great post. It also doesn’t hurt to revive dormant friendships.
Kachee || KacheeTee.comAugust 26, 2016 at 15:01
It actually doesn’t. Now I’m reaching out to my QC old girls. We are plenty! Imagine the different networks they’ll provide.
NedouxAugust 25, 2016 at 12:49
Hi Kachee,This must be my favourite post so far, you know how to deliver relevant messages brilliantly. Well done!As you know, I recently launched the Nedoux Sewing Club, my social media network really came through for me in promoting my workshop events, the kindness and support has so heartwarming. :-)Indeed having support networks that cut across various spheres is important because we learn from each other, inspire other to grow and become better versions of ourselves.Thank you for sharing.
Kachee || KacheeTee.comAugust 26, 2016 at 15:00
Nedu!Thank you! Hahahaha. Your pink posters pretty much broke the internet.
Bubu GreenAugust 25, 2016 at 13:57
Kachee, you are in the “shhpirit” because just yesterday, I needed some clarity on some pressing issues in a peculiar field. So I buzzed someone in that industry as my friends didn’t have any knowledge on that. We all need support. More so, we need mentors. The first question a friend asked me, once I kicked off my blog was if I have a mentor. That was a ‘wompwomp’ moment for me cos at that point I found out I really don’t have one. Lovely post, my dear. Couldn’t have said it any better.On a lighter note, any fitness support group here? I want to make sure my abs hear ‘nwwiiii’! Lolwww.bubusboulevard.com
Kachee || KacheeTee.comAugust 26, 2016 at 14:59
We all ned support! Hahahaaa. I’m not sure of any fitness groups. Execpts you want to check ou Coach E’s squad: See deets: http://www.kacheetee.com/bl…
Vivian AFAugust 25, 2016 at 19:01
This is so relevant to my life right now. It is so comforting to know that your day ones cannot be everything and that’s okay. I’m very very very reserved and I’m not very comfortable interacting with people, but I think it is time to build these networks!Thanks for this post and for constantly reading and commenting on mine!Bless,www.thealaroro.com
Kachee || KacheeTee.comAugust 25, 2016 at 23:16
No worries! The name of your blog got my attention. Lol!I know what you mean re your day 1s can’t be everything. Interestingly you don’t look that reserved! Lol. It’s important to build these – give it a try! 😘
ifunanya DibiaezueAugust 27, 2016 at 05:21
Girl you took the words straight outta my mouth! I always try to explain the importance of this when people ask me why I socialize with “all manner of people”Nice read…xxxwww.sunlightdreamer.com
Kachee || KacheeTee.comAugust 28, 2016 at 14:55
Hahahahaa @ all manner of people. It’s necessary!
Tega EnaiAugust 28, 2016 at 11:55
Great post dear, they may not necessarily be close friends but we all definitely need support groups in our life. Exactly what I needed to read. I’ve been beating myself up why I have a very very small circle of friends… even took it upon myself to make new friends but to no avail. I probably should just stick to support groups.www.tegaenai.comHappiness is…xoxo..
Kachee || KacheeTee.comAugust 28, 2016 at 22:30
I totally get you. Especially since I moved to the UK and most of my friends are in Nig. We can start with support peeps and eventually who know, we may become besties.
Funke olotuAugust 28, 2016 at 21:24
This is a great post, I am currently in school and I socialize with a lot of people and my closest friends do not understand and are always like you talk to too many people. Am sharing this link with them.https://funkeolotu.com
Kachee || KacheeTee.comAugust 28, 2016 at 22:27
Loool! Please socialise! Very very necessary. And yes, def send the link to them!😁😁
AmakamediaAugust 28, 2016 at 22:23
Oh dear Kachee, I love this post. So much wisdom. Thank you. No one can succeed alone. No one! I read an article on Eziaha’s blog about ‘Squad goals’ and my eyes were opened – I think they even grew bigger.I’ve been praying about this “network” thing. It’s VERY important to surround yourself with people you trust, love and respect, and even if you fail, you’ll be able to enjoy the journey so much more.amakamedia.com
Kachee || KacheeTee.comAugust 28, 2016 at 22:26
Hahahhaha! I read that post as well. It was so spot on. I’m also praying about it too, because moving to the UK recently meant a new squad for me. But God help us!
Praise AbuAugust 30, 2016 at 13:05
Thanks for sharing, i particularly loved the collaboration over competition part. Most people forget this and try to be hostile. I’ll try to always remember this. Also, having a faith team is also important.My Style Look Book Series
Kachee || KacheeTee.comSeptember 2, 2016 at 14:30
You’re welcome Praise! I try to consciously tell myself there’s room for everyone to shine. No need for unnecessary competition.
Toluwalade Toyin-KehindeAugust 31, 2016 at 04:41
You see that ride on point 3? I did that last December… I’ve never shouted Jesus as much in my life before, I was laughing tears but it felt good and I’m all for that adrenaline push. This is a great list though, all these are very necessary but in a class like mine where everybody is competitive and want to score higher (like good grades even = good doctor) number 1 is a tough thing to do but one step at a time.toyinwithfashion.com
Kachee || KacheeTee.comSeptember 2, 2016 at 14:28
Ah Ah! People are still being overly competitive in class and hoarding stuff? In this day and age? Loool! Lade, all the best with your adrenaline rush oh! Count me out.
UfuomaAugust 31, 2016 at 22:31
Absolutely love this! And I am really learning how important to have networks of people for very different purposes. Nothing wrong with that. Your friends can’t be everything to you at the same time and they are not obligated to. Having a rich spread of support, trusted companions and colleagues is so important! Thanks for the timely reminder.www.theufuoma.comTravel | Lifestyle | Passion
Kachee || KacheeTee.comSeptember 2, 2016 at 14:26
You’re welcome Ufuoma!! I used to feel bad when my friends couldn’t be everything, but they just can’t. Lol! Thanks for reading!
Arrey EchiSeptember 5, 2016 at 10:28
I love this and you listed them all out so well. We all need these support groups along with our regular buddies.Bonding on social media and getting to meet people phyiscally has been a great experience for me so far and so I totally agree with you. It is all about choosing them wisely.Great post.www.joy2endure.compaying-the-price-of-ignorance-how-eyong-s-story-proves-ignorance-is-not-always-bliss
Kachee || KacheeTee.comSeptember 5, 2016 at 15:16
Thank you Arrey! And choosing them wisely is very necessary