My husband’s friends are absolute clowns and I often have such a good time with them. On holiday recently, they jokingly commented that I hadn’t written any post about them. They sort of bullied me, to be honest, and so this one’s for them!

Whenever they are together, they continuously talk about how the best holidays they’ve had is the one without me in it! Obviously, the husband knows better than to agree with them.

Husband going on holiday alone

In conversation recently, the issue arose as to whether I’ll allow the husband to go on a separate holiday with them now that we’re married. 

I honestly think it’s fine (subject of course to a few factors). Obviously, there’s a part of you that will wonder what they’re going to talk about (and if your husband will hurry home to share every minute detail). You may also consider the location and the possibility of a bevy of fleek ladies surrounding their every move. If they’re going to climb the Mount Everest, by all means they should go. But Vegas, ehm… thou shall not put asunder to my marriage. 

Jokes aside, there are actually several reasons I’m okay with a mini men-only vacation. 

Husband travelling alone for vacation
Seriously, who prints a flyer for their vacation? 

1. Because I’ll do the same!

Of course I want to book a mini holiday with my girls as well. Of spa dates, shopping and girl-talk.  So, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. 

2. Foster and maintain friendship

Everyone seems to be in different parts of the globe these days and your husband’s best friends may not actually live in the same city as you do. A mini-holiday is a great way for them to meet up.

3. Business talks

I’ll like to assume they are having serious conversations about the stock market and  prime locations to invest in property. It’s a great way to network and talk some serious talk, maybe over a few drinks.

4. Develop personal interests

If your husband and his friends absolutely live for skiing  and you can’t ever comprehend it, wouldn’t it be a bit unfair to deprive him of a skiing holiday? I think solo holidays are a great way to develop personal interests unique to both of you. 

5. Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Just a little absence. And when he get’s back home, it’s almost as if you fall in love with him all over again.

6. You’re in a secure relationship

If you have doubts about your man going away with his friends for a break, then may be you should actually consider the root of such doubts/insecurities. 

7. A chance to be a super-hero

Imagine him walking home and realise that you’ve changed that light bulb all by yourself. Whooop! I’ve spoken to a few women and they agree that their husband is away, they tend to achieve so much more.  I talked about my experience in this post here

In agreeing to a men-only vacation I think the below tips would be useful to consider:

  • What’s his motivation: If he’s trying to get away, due to troubles in your relationship or simply because he needs a ‘break’, then it might not be such a wise idea and it may be better to actually first ensure that your relationship is secure before he heads out. 
  • Which friend is coming along?: First off, it’s helpful to know the guys going on the trip and be assured that your husband is in good company. Evil communication corrupts good manners. You also want to have their contact details in case of an emergency. 
  • Keep it short. Sorry hun, you can’t go away for a month with your goons. I think such solo-vacations should be short, and possibly no more than 7 days. 
  • Schedule yours at the same time: If you can arrange for a girl-only holiday at about the same time, I think that will be great. That way you’re having a holiday as well, and you don’t hate him for posting vacay pictures on Instagram while you’re struggling with vacuuming the home.
  •  Not on special occasions: Nope, you can’t have a guy-only holiday on either of our birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas/New Year and other special occasions. Those are special and we create those memories together as much as possible. 
  •  Keep in touch: It’s easy to imagine the worst when you don’t hear from your significant other. So, while you’re away guys, please keep in touch and most importantly let us know how you’d rather have us with you there. Haha!
  • Play fair: I’ll think it’ll be unfair for your husband to agree to a guy-only holiday far beyond you both can afford as a family. Also, if you both haven’t gone on any private holidays in a long time, going away on a solo-vacation shouldn’t really be a priority.  If you’ve got kids, and your husband generally helps out (as he should) with them, he should also consider making alternative arrangements and not leave you stressed out with nappies and bottles while he’s on holiday. If you’ve not got kids, he should totally make alternative arrangements to take the bins out! 

Ultimately there are no hard and fast rules, and your relationship comes first before any guy or girl friends. So that I think should be priority.  

What do you think? Happy for your husband to go away with his mates or nay? Would you restrict where they can go and what friends he can go with? Gentlemen, any thoughts?

 Leave a comment and share with us, pretty please. 

Love, 

Kachee… xx

pS: Why do I have a feeling after all this I’ve said, I’m still going to tag along on such holiday. Ok Ok, I’ll give them the first 3 days, and then meet them up for the last four days of the holiday!

Read too: Stay-cation in St Ives, Cornwall and Barbados – Sun Beach and Rum Punch


36 COMMENTS

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36 Comments

  1. Ken Onwu

    July 13, 2016 at 13:02

    Hahahahahahahahah seeing as though that I’m the one that designed that flyer and I’m one of the friends you speak of in this post, I feel like I should set the record straight. 7 days? I will just assume you made a typo about 7 days and you meant to type 7 working days which gives us two weekends. We’ve clarified that, next point. Give regular updates about what please? For who? For what??? This is not CNN. “Breaking News – We the husbands have chosen to do nothing for the past two days and will shower someday by the grace of God”. No. Why can’t husbands just rest in peace. We as black men have been through enough pain in this life, all we need is some fresh air without having to report back to the CFO (Chief Funspoiling Officer). When we were single we wanted to change lives, once we got married we couldn’t even change the TV channel. Sometimes all men need is a young holiday, to watch seasons of Game of Thrones back to back, shower don’t shower, eat don’t eat, drink don’t drink, take the trash out or leave it in, just some air in the lungs without it being clogged up with your love. Come back from the holiday refreshed and ready to take on female stress again. hahahahaahaahhah. But on the real though, the rules are wise and fair, I’ll give them a pass but remember #HusbandsHolidaysMatter #IAmNotMarried #MyGirlfriendShouldNeverReadThisComment #KachiIsRight

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 13, 2016 at 15:35

      Ken your’e just a clown, and I’m going to send this your rant to your girlfriend!! Looool @ clogging you up with my love! Your comment is hilarious!

      Reply
    • Arrey Echi

      September 6, 2016 at 13:19

      Hahahahahahaha very hilarious comment here.

      Reply
  2. Nengi

    July 13, 2016 at 15:28

    Hahaha! I found this post funny. I agree with you on most points. I actually won’t mind birthdays provided it’s not a milestone one (30,40,50,etc). Christmas is a no-no…I think it’s actually great for marriages as well. It’s great that you grow together without losing all (notice I said all. You will definitely lose some in the name of compromise) your individuality. Solo vacations are great ways of refreshing. I know I’ll need/want one every now and then…

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 13, 2016 at 15:33

      Actually I’m sure I’ll compromise on some dates, like you said, maybe not milestone birthdays!. It definitely lets you keep your individuality as well!

      Reply
  3. Precious

    July 13, 2016 at 16:04

    Not right now! I won’t agree to any vacation right now without me in the plan. So I’ll be home changing diapers and cleaning spilled milk while the hubby will be somewhere cleaning his teeth from too much meat? No way. Let him vacate with me first then the men-only time can come later. Haha.This is an interesting post, Kachee. We all need alone time or time with our friends every now and then. But it is important to do that at the right time and with the right company.www.preciouscore.com

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 13, 2016 at 16:10

      Precious, I’m rolling on the flooooor!! Lmao @ cleaning his teeth. I’m sure Mr N won’t plan a vacation with friends leaving you all stressed up.

      Reply
  4. 'Dapó Awobokun

    July 13, 2016 at 17:25

    This has me in stitches ****crying*****

    Reply
  5. Paula Olaitan Benedict

    July 13, 2016 at 19:00

    Very interesting write up you have got here…. well I’m still single but I think I agree with you… I’m cool with it but to restricted locations, choice of friends, and definitely not during anniversaries and all…Weldone gurl!

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 13, 2016 at 19:24

      Lol @ still single! *wink. Thanks love!!😘

      Reply
  6. Yummy Mum Life

    July 13, 2016 at 23:17

    I’m very particular about which friend he’s going with.Once i’m not comfortable with a particular friend i will watch him in 3d from home.lol! and yes location will be very well scrutinized.WWW.CHEECHEELIVE.COM

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 14, 2016 at 11:29

      Oh, the friends definitely matter. You know how we watch in 3D. Lool. Location really does matter as well.

      Reply
  7. pagesbyike

    July 14, 2016 at 04:02

    Haha! I loved this post. My husband is traveling somewhere with his friends soon…Vegas and Jamaica were on the list. ‘were’ on the list. Lol!

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 14, 2016 at 11:30

      Were on the list! I’ve laughed so hard. Plus he has been to Vegas with you, so why going again? *evil grin*

      Reply
  8. Kachee || KacheeTee.com

    July 14, 2016 at 09:50

    Loool! I can’t blame you honestly. When I saw that flier again, I rolled on the floor! Thanks for commenting!

    Reply
  9. Lohla's Melange

    July 14, 2016 at 11:26

    Mbok! Vacay to where please? All by your fine self with some mischievous elements, no can do hunnay. Not happening I’m sorry. Looks away like nothing happened.

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 14, 2016 at 11:28

      Lmfao! You’re not even smiling on this one. Hahahahahaha! Love it.

      Reply
  10. Sold to Christ

    July 14, 2016 at 16:51

    I agree with you. I am almost certain that I would welcome the opportunity to be on my own for a little bit sometimes when I do get married. Besides if he is the sort to allow me go on vacations with my girlfriends,i sure wouldn’t stop him from going with his friends(especially if i like the friends). If I don’t like them then NO can do. Hi Kachee.First time commenting. Not first time visitor.

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 15, 2016 at 14:02

      If we don’t like the friends, yeah he most likely won’t go!Thank you for reading! Thank you more for commenting!!!

      Reply
      • Tega-ra Adah

        July 13, 2017 at 23:33

        I always enjoy your post my dearest Kachi.Am with you 100%same view

        Reply
  11. Toluwalade Toyin-Kehinde

    July 15, 2016 at 10:11

    Hahaha… Make alternative arrangements to take out the bin. Right now I’m thinking 3-4days iyaff do ooo.. That 7 days is still looking long. Or better still join them on the 4th day like you said 😂😂😂. But definitely yes, they need the holiday as much as women do.www.toyinwithfashion.com

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 15, 2016 at 14:03

      7 days is actually a long time! 3-4 should ordinarily be okay, but I just imagine if you’ve spent plenty money for ticket and all you probably want to maximise it. So yes, we will join them on the 4th day! Hahahahahah.

      Reply
  12. demiolowo

    July 15, 2016 at 11:01

    Looool….very interesting post! Vacay with his friends is cool but 7 days is too much,mayb a weekend….hahahahaha

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 15, 2016 at 14:04

      Thanks Demi!! Loool @ weekend. If they’ve travelled far, that might be to short. Maybe 5 days!

      Reply
  13. Chinelo Okoli

    July 15, 2016 at 13:11

    He’s free to go on holidays with his friends. Some that are getting up to all sorts with their wives attached to their hips nko? so same difference.The only thing is if i decide to go on holiday, there are like a million things that i have to sort out first. I can imagine packing up and leaving our child with hubby without making any plans? Disaster. I’m actually better with DIY than my hubby sef, so that one is not going to be my problem when his away. Lol.You are right about no holidays with friends during special holidays like anniversaries and stuff.How to become more self-assured

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 15, 2016 at 17:38

      Lol. True! Hahahahaha. I’m sure you will have to make plans before you leave her alone with him oh. You’re better at DIY? I should come and learn from you!

      Reply
  14. Sky

    July 18, 2016 at 13:14

    This is such a funny post Kachee..and the comments are even more hilarious. Yes to everything you said sha!SkyNotFancy

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 18, 2016 at 14:59

      Thanks Sky!! Good to see you agree with my rules! Haha

      Reply
  15. doyin

    July 22, 2016 at 16:50

    Nice one kachi…. not married but i think i would give a yes to a men only vacay. Switching it up i think it may be more interesting if al the men come with their wives for a family vacay(i am hoping they would all be married). In that way while the men are having their alone time the women too can do same. The only challenge however may be that the women may not all be close as the men but it may also be a good opportunity for bonding amongst the wives. There could also be some sessions for joint discussions with all the husbands and wives. I think i have seen a movie in this line but i cant recall at the moment (by tyler perry or so). In summary kachi it was a good read. Welldone.

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 25, 2016 at 08:29

      Hey Doyin!Yeah I agree a couple vacation will be nice, and could work they are all friends. I think the movie was “Why Did I get Married”. It was pretty cool, and I’ll def incorporate some couple vacations with our friends. Thanks for taking the time to comment!

      Reply
  16. Funke olotu

    August 2, 2016 at 19:16

    At first when I saw the title am already like nope…nope..nope…. am just a very jealous person.but then you’re right… I will want to travel with my girlfriends also..the point about His friends MATTERS a lot!!If am not sure he’s in good hands, you’re not going anywhere..Btw..am not married😀😀😀

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      August 3, 2016 at 13:31

      Hahahaha! I think our first instinct is Nope, nope! And then we think of ourselves and begin to consider. I agree. The friends! I need to be comfortable with them. Thanks for stopping by Funke!

      Reply
  17. CherishExpress

    August 16, 2016 at 22:21

    Of course, trust is very important here as hearts of some women may skip. No matter how close you are with a person, you can never be with each other 24 hours a day (except you’re in the same prison cell though), so a man can do whatever he wants in as little as a minute.

    Reply
  18. Arrey Echi

    September 6, 2016 at 13:23

    I am not married but I agree with all the points raised above because I do believe once in a while, it is important to have that me time with friends only. But the company and how secured the relationship is will also matter alot. I don’t want to stress myself thinking which daughter of Eve is trying to snatch my man away or which friend is putting ideas into his head. That said, I am all for the occassional all boys or girls holidays.www.joy2endure.com

    Reply
  19. Bids in Graceland

    March 22, 2017 at 13:44

    Fantastic article! Completely agree with all the points you listed and your tips too! Spot on!

    Reply
  20. Aisha O'Reilly

    September 5, 2017 at 09:55

    I totally think it’s cool. Unfortunately my hubby nor I have been on neither girls or boys holidays cos of finances but when we can afford it, I’m in. Yeah, the type of friends are important too. Men are very easily swayed by mob mentality so I know I’d rather he goes on hols with fellow married, “serious” men than his single mates. I think it’s important for us to have our own lives and interests, makes it more interesting. Plus, there are some things I just can’t do for him, like silly things only guys do when together! Cute post.

    Reply

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