I spent some time last weekend with my newest friend. She’s seven and I really did have a great time with her. From watching YouTube videos (and singing out loud) to her displaying her gymnastic abilities and happily describing her best pair of shoes (they’ve got like a 1-inch block heel!).
But in all of this, there were two highlights of the day. First, was when my blonde wig fell off my head. We had been rolling on the floor and I guess it just got loose. But she wasn’t surprised – even as I made an attempt to put it back on. She simply said, “Can I see your real hair please”. I thought that was so cool. That she could understand different backgrounds and social norms to an extent. While her dad is white, her mum is black. I had to dig out the exact country when she said ‘we went to Africa on holiday’. Uhm, no. Africa is a continent. Then she mentioned the particular country in West Africa.
I’ve digressed, but the second highlight of the day was the amount of time we spent reading up our ‘House Rules’ and the conversations that ensued from it.
This was the last piece of ‘furniture’ we bought in our old house. Long before this, we had decided to put a halt to purchasing any items – and just ‘manage’ the old place as it was till we moved. That was supposed to be for a period of 3-4 months, which annoyingly ended up being so much longer.
I’d always loved these frames or posters that contained the house rules. So when I saw this one for half price, I grabbed it happily – intending to leave it all wrapped up till we moved. I was also pretty satisfied with the wording on this one, save for the fact that it didn’t have any things related to God or faith. But the days to moving house dragged, and so I reluctantly hung it in the old house.
Then we moved. And then guess what? It just didn’t seem to fit with the aesthetics of the new house. Ugh. So I left it leaning against the wall on the landing – while I came up with a decision. It was here, right after a gymnastic session, that my little friend bumped into it.
She read the first line and said ‘why do you have house rules‘? And I thought ‘ehmm, so we know what to do. And I can remember to eat my greens and Uncle Tee can share his chocolate with me and we can give hugs and kisses‘. ‘Ohh’, she responded, and then proceeded to read (slowly) every single word on the frame.
At times I wished I could hurry the words out of her mouth so we could move on to something else. But other times, I was impressed with her patience in getting to the end. She seemed a bit frustrated at the cursive writing and at one time blurted out, ‘it doesn’t make sense. Why does honest have a ‘h’ when it’s pronounced onest‘. Don’t ask me girlie.
Anyway, her initial question got me thinking about house rules. I mean like the serious ones, and not these light hearted kind. Do they work? I don’t really remember having house rules growing up. But some of my friend’s did. You had to sleep at 9pm. No sweets on weekdays. No eating between meals. No visiting friends on school nights. Brush your teeth before greeting your parents, and so forth.
I’m just really curious – how was your growing up like in relation to these rules. Did you have them? Did you like them and adhere to them? What were the consequences if broken? Would you advise them and if you have kids, what rules have you or would you like to implement?
It’ll be great to hear!
Love,
Kachee… xx
pS: The only house rules Tee and I are contemplating at the moment is whether or not guests should take their shoes off – as we’ve got a really light carpet! He thinks it’s extreme, but I’m pretty okay with it. Yet to decide though. What do you think. Would that offend you?
What to read next:
'Dara
June 23, 2017 at 08:17Rules are a no no for me, especially those stringent rules of “Be home by 7pm”, “You’re in charge of doing the dishes” and what not. They say rules are made to be broken anyway. Instead, make people understand why they should act in a particular way. The house rules on the frame above are more of ethical behavior and are easy to follow anyway so that would serve as a reminder.I think it’s perfectly fine if you think visitors should take off their shoes. I mean, it might not be so easy to have to clean up everytime someone comes to visit. I won’t be offended if someone asks me to take off my shoes before entering their house.Usually, I ask my friends when I visit if they would want me to take off my shoes or just observe to see if they are keeping theirs on.
Kachee || KacheeTee.com
June 26, 2017 at 16:28Well I hope everyone takes the hint like you. But we could be wearing house slippers, and they’d look at us and leave their shoes on. Lol!
Adaeze
June 23, 2017 at 10:54For me, I did not grow up with rules, except for the ‘wash your plate after eating rule’ which I see as part of home training. Mum will always say “Nobody is your maid”lol.Taking off shoes is a YES! for me, because some shoes could be really dirty. I think what matters its actually how it is said. I won’t be upset if I am asked to take my shoes off because the cleaning can be quite annoying specially if its a difficult stain, so to be safe I just politely ask.
Kachee || KacheeTee.com
June 26, 2017 at 16:26But some people don’t like walking bare feet or with only socks. So unless we give those house slippers…
Eniola Lofindipe
June 23, 2017 at 11:03Thinking about it, we never had house rules growing up. Maybe it wasn’t a thing then. But now, i do for my kids. they have to go to bed latest by 8pm cos’ that’s the only way i can maintain my sanity after chasing them around almost all day. The shoe matter is a bit dicey, some people don’t like the idea of walking with their bare feet outside their house, i don’t. but its your house, so i guess whoever wants to visit will have to abide by your rules. The one that gets me every time is how people have a beautiful dinning table but end up eating on the Sofa. lol! it was the same in my house growing up but for my kids, its different. the dinning table isn’t a decor,they have to eat there.thecuriousmum.wordpress.com
Kachee || KacheeTee.com
June 23, 2017 at 11:08First you launched your blog!!💃🏾💃🏾. I didn’t know. Congratulations. Obviously going to check it out! I think that bed time rule is such a need! Yeah I agree that walking bare feet isn’t comfortable at all – so we might offer them indoor slippers (but that’s becoming a long thing. Lol!).I’m so guilty of eating on the couch though. It’s so much better than the dining table – but I’m trying to change that, especially so kids don’t adopt that bad habit!Thanks for stopping by and commenting Eni!
Eniola Lofindipe
June 23, 2017 at 14:38You were actually one of the first people on my mind to tell when I launched it but still hiding in a shell and hoping you would just find it one day and say “hey Eniola, is that your blog? Its super cool” lol! Plus I am still trying to decide on exactly how I want my writing to be.
The Reet Petite
June 23, 2017 at 14:00I think house rules are useful, especially where kids are involved. I didn’t grow up with house rules as such but I kind of with I did, structure is good for kids.Regarding the carpet, I definitely don’t think it’s rude to ask people to take shoes off, you could also perhaps provide house slippers (like the ones in hotels and spas). 🙂
Kachee || KacheeTee.com
June 26, 2017 at 16:26First time commenter?!! Welcome!I considered getting those house slippers, but then we’d need somewhere to keep them. Thanks for your suggestion. And I think rules help in some way. Just depends on the extent of the rules.
Nadia
June 23, 2017 at 15:23We have the exact same decor piece, lovely!!!! Couldn’t believe it when I saw it 😀 As for the “serious” rules, I was growing up knowing I need to do my homework, help mum with cooking and cleaning & shoes are always off! Always! That’s why when I moved to the UK & saw people walking on a brand new light beige carpet in muddy boots I was in shock haha. In our previous house we didn’t ask guests to take their shoes off but in our new place we are not even asking because our entrance does it for us. There is a special little area for shoes as you walk in and when we meet guests at the door, we can either suggest they could put their shoes there or they “get the hint” themselves. No shoes on my new carpets!!! :Dxox Nadiawww.mielandmint.com
Kachee || KacheeTee.com
June 26, 2017 at 16:24Really? Did you get yours from Next? Hahahaha@ being in shock. It’s surprising isn’t it?I really hope people take the hint!
Grace Smart
June 23, 2017 at 16:54House rules kwa??? NAHHHH. It was a do whatever is right kind of thing. This reminds me of Kambili in Purple Hibiscus. Eugene had she and her brother under some real house rules. Need to go dig up that book again.www.liveinibadan.blogspot.com
Kachee || KacheeTee.com
June 26, 2017 at 16:22Hahahaha. They did have some crazy and extreme rules in that book!
Yummy Mum Life
June 23, 2017 at 19:32I wouldn’t really say the rules were laid out for us growing up but with things being done the same way/same pattern we kinda just followed up like they were rules. One rule I have for my kids is no food or any other activity before homework,apart from taking a shower and Grace is doing so well at adhering she even let’s people visiting know that’s how mummy says it should be done.The taking off shoes one I really wish I could find a way to let people know because some annoying human beings can walk in poo/mud sef and never take off their shoes when they walk into a CLEAN home.However I’ve had people come in with shoes,do a quick look around and maybe realize my home is pretty spotless then go back to take their shoes off outside or jst take them off wherever they stop on the way in.lol!!www.CheecheeLIVE.com
Kachee || KacheeTee.com
June 26, 2017 at 16:22Lol @ no food before homework. What if I’m starving? But I guess it works out. Tee also thinks that people should use their ‘common sense’ and so if their shoes are crazy dirty or they see such a light carpet, they should take if off. But then, just one person that fails to adhere and the damage is done.
Zinny
June 23, 2017 at 21:40The only rule I had while growing up was to get home before 7pm. And I totally get it, living in Lagos at the time, it was important to get home early for safety reasons. Also, we lived in Gbagada and there was a time when we had armed robbers threatening the community and shooting in broad day light!Other than that, I had a fairly open relationship with my parents and as long as I was sincere with them they’d always let me do what I want to. Besides, if your parents keep doing things regularly, you’d begin to emulate them subconsciously. So I just started taking a bath every night like it was compulsory, shutting the door behind me, keeping things at a particular side of the house, etc.These things differ from home to home! Nice write up, Kachee.www.zinnyfactor.com
Kachee || KacheeTee.com
June 26, 2017 at 16:20Getting home before a certain time is often a need, but I don’t even think we had a set time. You just had the sense to know to come home early. And I agree that kids learn a lot by seeing. So they’d likely do what they’re parents do.
Bababi
June 26, 2017 at 07:29While growing up, we had the following rules1. No hands on the walls (i actually loved this one because we lived in our house in Apapa for 10years before moving yet the walls remained as good as new).2. No legs on the couch (my parents believed the chair is strictly for sitting not sleeping. Lol. We faltered abit on that rule)3. Only family and “friends-turn-family” can be allowed into the bedrooms. All other guests are restricted to the living room. (I love this rule aswell, because I’m such a sucker for my privacy and i find it rather odd when i visit a not so close friend and they lead me to their bedroom).Now with my husband, we’re maintaining rules 1 and 3.
Kachee || KacheeTee.com
June 26, 2017 at 16:18Girl, I think I’ll smack any child that writes on the walls. Lol. So yes, I’m going to have that rule! I don’t like going into bedrooms either, but some people are pretty comfortable with it.
Tola
June 26, 2017 at 12:58I actually don’t think i had spoken rules, they were more of unspoken. I knew better than to come home late if I went somewhere or better than to leave the dishes for my mum to wash. I don’t think I ever suffered any consequences but when I have kids, I don’t think rules are a bad idea. I mean they exist for a reason but then I don’t think I’ll implement strict and unreasonable rules. I’d explain and make you see the reason why what and what should/ should not be done.www.adoseoftola.wordpress.com
Kachee || KacheeTee.com
June 26, 2017 at 16:17I think I agree with you that many rules were unspoken and we knew better! Like you said, if you explain to the child, then they’d clearly see reason.
Daworkdiva
June 29, 2017 at 14:00We had rules but funny enough, they were different for everyone; the older ones were treated differently from the younger ones.Kachtee, I’ve finally decided to stop stalking anonymously, I hope you visit my blog ‘www.daworkdiva.com’
Mary-Anne
July 9, 2017 at 16:10I will definitely set rules for the kids, and grown ups too. 1. No gadgets during dinner – It will be bonding time.2. Only two hours TV per day or less – probably substitute it for sports so the kids burn energy and sleep early 😀 everybody wins.I love the furniture. But like my mum would say, “even if you did not turn it on, when you see it, turn it off”. LOL