Look Mama, we made it! Someone doesn’t like my blog. That’s it right? When people begin to criticize or ‘hate’ you’re officially a ‘celebrity’.

Obviously, I wasn’t that elated when someone told me that someone told her that they didn’t fancy a few things about my blog. No, I wasn’t that elated. On the contrary,  I considered shutting down. You know, go back into my own little shell, and avoid all forms of criticisms.

Okay, I exaggerate. But, I don’t take criticisms well. My reactions are often two-fold – I cry or I go quiet. Oh, there’s probably a third one. I argue, lose the argument and then cry.

I’m also careful with criticising negatively. I try to employ the sandwich approach. The bread, the filing, and then the bread. Where the bread = positive comment and the filing = the criticism.

Some people just love to dish out fillings. So unfair.

The Sandwich method of giving criticism

So if you struggle with handling negative criticisms here are some quick things to note:

Is it really negative?

Or are you just overthinking it? If your boo says you’re often on the phone when they’re talking to you, don’t overthink that to mean you are being insensitive, unresponsive and the worst bae in the world. If unclear, ask for further details.

Perfection is an Illusion

So obviously there’s room here and there for improvement. And the criticism may just be what you need to spur you on. Avoid thoughts like ‘But a hundred people like my blog, why doesn’t she?’ Have you considered that a hundred people may be sugar-coating the truth? Or perhaps there are a few tweaks you need to make so you can appeal to a further hundred people?

Respond Calmly and Don’t Cry

Note to Self. Crying doesn’t solve anything. Grow some thick skin people. If you’re going to succeed at anything, negative criticisms are most likely going to be hurled at you anyway.

Thank you and Goodbye

If you believe the criticism is really out of malice, with no genuine iota of truth, then I guess good-byes are in order. But don’t forget your manners, and remember to say thank you as well! After all, they were kind enough to let you know.

Remain Confident and keep being the best version of You

At the end of the day, it is just one person’s view. Okay, even if a LOT of people think like that. Often, the brightest light in the room attracts the most insects.

Take a cue from Arsene Wenger, coach of Arsenal Football Club. After a recent woeful performance by his team, he said ‘After 20 years I’ve heard all the criticism before’. Talk about thick skin! Arsenal plays Swansea today, I hope he’s ready for even more criticism. I’m definitely not buying any more Arsenal jerseys.

Have you guys been a victim of negative criticism? How did you deal with it? And how do you give negative criticism? Please Share.

Love,

Kachee…Xx

pS: I’m really open to criticisms, so please let me know if you have any feedback or suggestions. I won’t cry, I promise.


20 COMMENTS

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

20 Comments

  1. Samuel-Biyi

    March 2, 2016 at 13:51

    Well, it is a mushy blog, but I know someone who’s addicted.. So I guess that cancels out 🙂

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      March 2, 2016 at 14:03

      And here I am thinking I sound all tough! Oh dear… I hope that person is you! 😬😬😬

      Reply
  2. Chikodi Asugha

    March 2, 2016 at 14:05

    Laughing at the reference to Monsieur Wenger. You better not jinx that game. Dude really needs this win. And hope the dudes in white from across town lose their derby game. Cheers dear.

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      March 2, 2016 at 16:11

      Kordi, I honestly can’t even deal with Wenger right now. But all the best to you guys.

      Reply
      • Chikodi Asugha

        March 2, 2016 at 22:37

        Jinxed!!!! #sadface #NowIdontlikeyourblog #Wengerlostagain lol!

        Reply
        • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

          March 2, 2016 at 23:40

          Not my Fault! Sorry though. Please don’t take it out on my blog!

          Reply
  3. Bagos Mutendi

    March 2, 2016 at 14:25

    Yeah, yeah..Leave am like that for us. We love the new ‘open’ Kacheetee#MyTwoCents

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      March 2, 2016 at 16:11

      Haha! Thank you. I hope she’s here to stay. #GetThatThickSkin

      Reply
      • Bagos Mutendi

        March 3, 2016 at 07:39

        Sure. That’s the only reason i got a blog ID. Hahahaha

        Reply
  4. Tayo Adebayo

    March 3, 2016 at 10:50

    nice piece. truth is everyone is entitled to their opinion on things generally. we all have different tastes and different perspective about certain issues, topics etc. For me enjoy the fact that your blog provides a feeling i can relate to. its like lying on the couch gisting with ur pals without it being too technical or gossip oriented. Please keep up with it. And like you said, there is always room for improvement so if you feel the need to switch things up its ok, but honey the shell is nowhere meant for a beautiful and intelligent fellow like you. cheers!

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      March 4, 2016 at 19:04

      Thanks Tayo girl. Lol! That’s really the idea behind the blog. Chilled e-gisting and a bit of learning. No technicalities. No Gossip! I’m working on switching things up. My day job just keeps me so busy! Phew.

      Reply
  5. Tanaka

    March 5, 2016 at 20:27

    Great post Kachee! And you’re right, if you’re going to get anywhere in this life you have to be ready to accept that not everyone is going to like you, and that’s just fine. That’s coming from a person who has major approval addiction & is working on it big time. Test all things and hold onto that which is good / true says the Bible. I go with that! Xxx

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      March 7, 2016 at 09:24

      Lool @ approval addiction! I absolutely agree with you though. We often seek unnecessary validation from people. Def going with your bible passage.. Xx

      Reply
  6. Nedoux

    March 7, 2016 at 10:05

    Hi Kachee,I found your blog via your Bella Naija article, which was brilliant by the way. I’ve read most of your posts, I love the mix of depth and humour. Well done!I write a blog too and I can relate with this post. I’ve learned that sometimes there’s a small part of a writer that thrives on public validation (PV). Sometimes, this need for PV dilutes the substance of your writing, you start to write to please and gradually stop sounding like yourself.Still, not all negative criticism is bad, underneath some of it is feedback that could help one improve. I write for my own enjoyment (and my mother’s, she reads my blog. Lol). Thankfully, I’ve managed to attract a readership that enjoys it too.Have a lovely week.

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      March 16, 2016 at 16:02

      Hi Nedoux! Thanks for this comment. Interestingly, when I published this, my mom read it and said I shouldn’t mind the critics. Lol (Yes to Mothers!)… I know we sometimes thrive for PV, and I pray it doesn’t affect the substance of the things I really want to share. Checking out your blog now… I’m always on the hunt. Lol. Stop by often please. *air kisses

      Reply
  7. Adekemi Edema

    March 9, 2016 at 18:04

    Please keep writing. Some of us are quiet cheerleaders

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      March 12, 2016 at 08:23

      Thank you Darling!!! Xx

      Reply
  8. KIKELOMO OMOTALADE

    March 14, 2016 at 13:19

    You can’t please everyone……..everyone has the right to express himself/herself……..no one put a gun to anyone’s head to visit the blog………u opened,read and felt it wasn’t worth your mb………take a shower then gaan hug the nearest electricity pole………or simply move on.Kachi, please ignore cyber bullies……i will mail my own observations even though you think you can’t help it……i know you will if you put your mind to it.

    Reply
  9. Precious

    June 23, 2016 at 16:04

    It is so easy to just dish out the filling but the sandwich approach is so ideal. When I get a negative criticism, I try to weigh it and see if I can get anything from it that will make me better. If not, I toss it to the side.www.preciouscore.com

    Reply
  10. Arrey Echi

    October 26, 2016 at 12:53

    when I started blogging, I was told my message was not attractive enough I need to step it up.It cut deep and made me feel inadequate but I had to remind people that, I didn’t start blogging to join the gossip, fashion etc bandwagon and do copy paste but to use my story to debunk myths on sickle cell and inspire someone even if just one person. I might not get the following but the private positive messages I get made me glad I stayed on my lane and continued with my goal.Negative criticism cut deep and after being on the receiving end of if most often, I try to be careful how I dish out my criticism. Most of the time, I just take a walk if I don’t like something.www.joy2endure.com

    Reply

follow along on Instagram