There are a few work-related encounters that I wouldn’t forget so easily. One of which was with a previous supervisor. There was an opportunity I was keen to attend, and so after putting myself forward and having a chat, I said to him:

I have to go for this conference”.

He turned around, looked at me with a straight face and said “you don’t have to”.

If I could, I’d have turned red in the face. Of course, I didn’t have to. It would have been great to. I’d have loved to. But I didn’t HAVE to.

Words are incredibly powerful and no less so in an office environment. Some phrases and words are simply not recommended. These undermine your relationship with people, your capabilities and your opinion.  They are words that are so easily used but which one must consciously avoid.

1. Words that show reluctance / uncertainty / incompetence

  • “I can’t”
  • “I’ll try”
  • “I think”
  • “I’m not sure”
  • “I don’t know”

At work you often want to come across as a go-getter, someone who is willing to find solutions, willing to go the extra mile. These words defeat that intention. And that’s not to say you would always be in a position to go that extra mile or even be willing to. But that reluctance or uncertainty need not be voiced out. These words leave a bad impression on the hearer that may not correspond to how you actually feel.

Let’s take a couple of examples.

You’re super  busy at work and your boss or senior asks for a piece of work to be carried out.
Saying “I can’t do it” or “I don’t have time” comes across as straight-up unwilling. A better approach would be providing a solution – “Sure I’d love to do that for you. Is it okay if I send it at 10pm as I’m currently working on a deadline”.

Similarly, words like “I’ll try” and “I think” show uncertainty and that you can’t be banked on. You need to show that you can take full ownership of a situation or task.

Now, you’re probably wondering what’s wrong in saying “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure” – after all no one knows everything. There’s nothing wrong, but those words don’t provide a solution.

  • Boss:  Does any one have a summary of the new report?
  • Worker A: I don’t know.
  • Worker B: I’m not sure, I’ll try to get it.
  • Worker C: I’m currently looking into it. I’ll email you a summary later today.

Now worker C may never have heard of the new report. B on the other hand might have heard of it and actively trying to source it. But who do you think the boss is going to think of as the go-getter? Yup, C.

2. Words that belittle your opinion / credibility

I was in the middle of an informal group and we were asked to share on a funny encounter. Before I started, I said something to the effect of “well, I’m not sure if this is really funny but…”. Right there, the moderator stopped me – “you can’t possibly suggest that this may not be funny and still expect us to listen with full attention“. Literally, I played myself.
And it’s so true. There are phrases the simply make one lose interest or basically doubt the speaker.

  • “This may be a silly idea but…”
  • “I may be wrong but…”
  • “I’m going to ask a silly question..”

It starts you off on the wrong foot.  These phrases are often used when we don’t believe in ourself and capabilities. It’s like being the butt of your own joke – so it doesn’t hurt as hard when others joke about you.

It may be a silly idea to you but still put it forward  – “I suggest that… as this will enhance…

3. Words that accuse or blame

On almost every job description you’d see the request for a “team player”. That’s key – being able to effectively work with others. No one wants a colleague who throws people under the bus with words like:

  •  “you should have…”
  • “you failed at…”
  • “He’s a jerk”
  • “It’s not my fault” (i.e it’s someone else’s?)
  • “Whose job is on the line for this?” (meaning someone takes the blame)

A better approach is to suggest an alternative as a team:

  • “perhaps we ought to have done it this way”
  • “it might be worth considering this approach in future”

4. Words that show lack of leadership or taking responsibility

  • “That’s not in my job description”
  • “I don’t get paid enough to do this”
  • “That’s not my problem”
  • “There’s nothing I can do”

In applying for the job, you probably emphasised that you love challenges and taking responsibility. But in the face of it you shrink. Even if you truly don’t get paid to do a task or if it’s really not your role, no one has to know. If you are unable to find a solution the better approach is to take responsibility to find someone who can.

5. Words that self deprecate

No one’s going to take pity on you because you said out aloud in a meeting “oh my goodness I’m such an idiot”. Nope. In actual fact they’re likely to think you’re genuinely incomepetent.  So ditch those as well.

6. Words that show resistance to change

  • “This is the way it’s always been done”
  • “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it”
  • “We tried that suggestion the last time”

If we all did things the exact same way without innovation, there’d hardly be any progress. So be  careful you don’t come off as one who is resistant to change or lazy. You want to appear (and be) forward thinking and innovative. You may have tried the suggestion before – but other factors may have caused it to fail.

7. One liners

Honestly, one liners kill conversations and at work and they come as you being un-interested. We all know how upsetting it can be when people reply a whole text of messages with “ok” or “k” or “cool”. It’s worse at work and it really doesn’t matter the situation – whether in the elevator or being asked about a task. So words like “fine”, “good”, “okay” etc are a no.  Let’s assume you run into your boss in the elevator

Boss: Did you have a good weekend

  • Colleague A: Yes
  • Colleague B: I had a great one actually, was at Wembley for the Nigeria v England football match. Amazing atmosphere. Did you watch it?
  • College C: Not too bad

Who do you think the boss remembers and is likely to build a relationship with or choose to work with?

8. Words that complain or criticise

  • “It’s not fair”.

That your team mate got promoted over you or someone earns more, could happen in the workplace. But you don’t have to use these kind of words out loud at work (not saying you can’t think it). You want to come across as trying to understand the issues and how it can be resolved.
I believe Titi and I are on the same level, but I understand she earns slightly higher. Could you let me know if there are targets I ought to be hitting. I’m keen to deliver my best and be compensated accordingly.”

  • “I hate my job”
  • “This is the most stupid task ever”
  • “That client is actually crazy”

No need to really explain why you shouldn’t be saying this.

9. Apologetic / “nice” words

  • I was wondering if we could catch up by 4pm?”
  • “Hi Tami, I just wanted to let you know that I completed the review and…”
  • Sorry but could you edit that document”

Many times these are unnecessary – being used as filler words and to appear “nice”. Women are often prone to this. Don’t “wonder”. Don’t “just”. Don’t be “sorry” . Say it as it is.

  • Could we catch up at 4?
  • Hi Tami, I completed the review and here’s a summary
  • Please edit that document.

The above words and expressions probably look like a lot, but honestly it’s a little change here and there that make a huge difference to you, and more importantly how others view you. It takes a conscious effort.

You could:

  • ask a team mate to look out for you when you generally speak and point out these kind of words
  • take time to replay conversations and your choice of words in your head
  • listen carefully to excellent speakers and mentors. Watch their choice of language – learn from it.

It’s an ongoing process.

Do you typically use such words? I’ll really love to hear your views and experiences on language at work. Please leave a comment and as always if you find this post useful, do share with others.

Love,
Kachee.. Xx

pS: Some people have suggested we drop the words “no problem” when asked to do a task or as a response to “thank you”. The argument is it insuinates that it could have been a bother at all. So simply “sure happy to help” or “it was my pleasure doing that” are preferred.

read too: 4 practical things to do while job hunting and 25 Microsoft Word shortcuts that are definitely worth knowing


25 COMMENTS

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25 Comments

  1. 'Dara

    June 5, 2018 at 14:22

    There are some of your posts I really want to print out and hang up my wall as a constant reminder. This is one of them!Growing up, my dad was always pissed off if I responded to a question with ‘I don’t know’. He said that wasn’t a smart answer and would tell me to respond with something else even if it was irrelevant to the question. Haha. Now I know better. I am also guilty of using “I just wanted to …” in my emails.

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      June 5, 2018 at 20:29

      Aww Dara thank you! I don’t know is a common one. I tend to use it casually (not at work) but need to stop that too.

      Reply
  2. thedumebinwaokobia

    June 5, 2018 at 18:04

    This is extremely helpful. Love ittt!

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      June 5, 2018 at 20:30

      You’re so welcome!

      Reply
  3. Atinuke

    June 6, 2018 at 09:48

    You should start a podcast or even a TV show where you continue sharing these amazing tips! I am guilty of most of the phrases and really, it will take a conscious effort to adjust. I’m really glad you shared this, Kachi. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      June 8, 2018 at 01:03

      A podcast maybe! Thanks a lot Tinuke. Appreciate.

      Reply
  4. Demilade

    June 6, 2018 at 12:13

    Ooh Kachee this is such a useful post! I’m very fond of using words in categories 2 and 9. I’ll definitely make a conscious effort to change that going forward, thank you for sharing! xxCoco Bella Blog

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      June 8, 2018 at 01:02

      You’re welcome Demmie!

      Reply
  5. Dunni

    June 6, 2018 at 14:19

    this post was very insightful, thank you even though I don’t agree with no. 9, don’t see anything wrong with appearing nice or polite.Also I would like to share it in my office magazine

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      June 13, 2018 at 15:27

      I see what you mean and there’s really nothing wrong in being polite. But we need to be careful we’re not being overly timid; and use such words only when necessary. You may share a link, but please don’t copy the post. Thanks!

      Reply
  6. Ufuoma

    June 7, 2018 at 19:48

    This is a really really helpful post. I am definitely guilty of using one or more of these phrases. Especially the ‘nice’ ones. “I was wondering.” “Could you please”. Those fillers truly aren’t necessary. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this and learned so much. Thanks Kachee.

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      June 8, 2018 at 01:03

      Those nice ones are so common true! You’re welcome love.

      Reply
  7. Mary-Anne

    June 9, 2018 at 07:25

    As usual Kachee, this is really helpful and timely too. This will definitely go into my Pocket App.

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      June 9, 2018 at 12:09

      Glad you like it. I only started using Pocket a while ago. Such a handy app!

      Reply
  8. Live In Ibadan

    June 11, 2018 at 22:13

    This is really eye opening and I featured it on my blog. Just started working and this has come in handy. Keep it up!www.emetelivin.com.ng

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      June 13, 2018 at 15:25

      You’re welcome!

      Reply
  9. Eniola Lofindipe

    June 11, 2018 at 22:40

    This is a really useful post Kachee. I am guilty of using quite a lot of these words and after this post, I’ve repented. Well done!!!

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      June 13, 2018 at 15:26

      Glad it’s helpful Enny!

      Reply
  10. Debby Adebayo

    June 13, 2018 at 13:47

    I used to think I was quite free from a lot of these informal words and phrases right up until yesterday when I had a presentation to make. I kept interjecting “basically” into every sentence without even realizing it. Of course, it was pointed out. It was quite embarrassing but a good correction nonetheless.Definitely some helpful tips here. It’d certainly take conscious efforts to flush out the nice words from my common vocabulary.Www.debbyhub.com

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      June 13, 2018 at 15:25

      I totally get you on that “basically”. It does take conscious effort! Thanks Debby.

      Reply
    • RuthsTravel:Because I Believe

      June 23, 2018 at 10:01

      I’m guilty of “bascially” too when I speak and write 😭

      Reply
  11. Zaynab Akintola

    June 13, 2018 at 23:04

    This is really helpful, thanks Kachee. I’m guilty of using ‘I think’ a lot but since I was corrected during an interview, I have taken conscious effort to stop it. I’m definitely also guilty of nice words but I will take note of it henceforth. Thanks Kachee xx

    Reply
  12. RuthsTravel:Because I Believe

    June 23, 2018 at 10:00

    Lord! (btw, I initially began this with, “I think”) This is so helpful. It exposed the ways I’ve been doing it wrongly. Those conversations kept replaying in my head like a stream let lose.Chaaaaaaaai🙆🏾 I’m guilty of so much like “I was wondering”, “I think”This is really good and I’m looking forward to better conversations beginning today as I work through the week, sort of round the clock.I can’t wait to share these with others too.Thank you, Kacheebecauseibelieveblog.com

    Reply
  13. Abby

    July 4, 2018 at 17:37

    I need to print out No 1 and hand it out to a few people around me! Infact the entire post is SUPER helpful and I think should be shared across workplaces, everywhere!I’m very guilty of no 9 and I’ll be more conscious going forward.Thank you for writing this and please pitch this article to other websites to publish. It’s a brilliant post.Xx

    Reply
  14. Bids in Graceland

    July 11, 2018 at 12:15

    Fantastic post, as always. So many words/phrases here that I am guilty of using and need to consciously correct. Thanks for these tips, I will definitely get to work putting them into practice.Bids xxwww.bidsingraceland.com

    Reply

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