I had no idea what kind of wedding ring I wanted.  I can probably not tell a diamond from cubic zirconia, and I marvel at those pickpockets who manage to rob people of their expensive jewellery. I marvel because they can tell the difference – many times they’ll go for the gold and leave the fake jewellery. All I knew was that I wanted a yellow gold uncommon ring – not the white gold. Tee was responsible for going in-store to search for rings and send me pictures, while I trawled the internet for the perfect ring.

 Every time I showed my sister a picture of a potential ring wondering if I’ll like it, she said “Whichever one you choose, you’ll love it. It’s your ring”.

She was right. Eventually, we agreed on the ring. Design: Check; Yellow Gold: Check; Price: Check.

Okay, on to the lessons.

Best type of wedding ring

Most mornings when I slip on my wedding ring into my ring finger on my left hand, I feel a quick sense of pride. Like it just whiffs past. I say most mornings because on some mornings I feel some sort of discomfort – when the ring gets kinda stuck midway. That can only mean one thing cant it? – Someone’s fingers are getting fatter. Hmmmm. I try to force it in sometimes. No luck. Only when I gently nudge and twist it in does it fit.

Lesson 1: Sometimes, Bae may be the cause of my discomfort. Those annoying habits I’ve been trying to get him to drop since forever. Gently gently, work on it. Cajole, Twist. Reason these out. Trying to force him won’t work.

I make a conscious effort to wear my ring every day. On a few occasions when I have been upset (and he is the reason), I have actually consciously considered leaving it behind. The sparkling diamonds, almost begin to seem dull at that point. Rather thankfully,  I often go back to my dressing table, find the rings and consciously put them on.

Lesson 2: A successful marriage is a conscious effort. I have to wake up every morning and make the conscious decision to love this person that I have chosen.

On the odd day I forget my ring at home because I’ve left the house in a frenzy, I feel a tad bit incomplete. Like something is missing. And maybe something is actually missing.  I compare this to the first few of months of marriage when the ring still felt foreign, and I could take it off at the slightest opportunity without any feelings of incompleteness.

Lesson 3: Like my ring, Marriage definitely needed growing into. But I’m pretty much grown into it now – I hope. 

When Tee sees me struggling to fit the ring in as described above, he often talks about re-sizing the ring. I know that he is not referring to making it a size smaller. And while I hope we never have to, it may happen. I just may outgrow this ring. Or better still, we may just buy another ring. Still yellow gold, please. Thank you.

Lesson 4:  Just when you think you are grown into it, change will come. Kids will pop up; Your spouse will suddenly develop new habits (I suddenly can’t stand anyone eating loud next to me). For how to deal with this, refer to #1 and 2 above.

I once saw a photo of a ring with a tiny tiny diamond. and the caption was ‘Ladies if your man proposed to you with this ring, will you accept?’. I tease Tee often that my engagement ring was actually smaller than that ring on the photo and I accepted.  But he was still a student, and I wasn’t even expecting any proposal. (We all know he did this to hold me down now – As a sharp guy!). Just before the wedding, a friend said to me ‘Ah now you are getting married, you can change this your ring’, and I thought ‘Why’? I couldn’t care so much if we changed it. The only reason I’ll care a little is that it was white gold and I wanted yellow gold. And I let her know of that fact.  Whatever ring I decided to wear was between the hubs and I. No third parties opinion.

Lesson 5: No third parties opinion needed in my marriage, please. (Of course, as a Lawyer I have to caveat this statement: so this is subject to genuine good advice)

Writing this post on my way home, I took off the ring to inspect it and wondered if, as it’s almost two years now it needed a bit of a shine. A bit of polishing. Reviving. To ensure it keeps shinning.

Lesson 6: Two years is probably a good time for me to sit and polish our marriage goals and vision. 

Finally, in the midst of all the ring shopping, my mum mentioned that we don’t seem to be fussed about Tee’s ring? I replied that he just wanted something simple. He’ll literally walk to the store and pick a simple yellow band. Shikena*. And that’s the way it is. I’m not sure of any man who fussed about his wedding ring.

Bonus lesson: Girls like drama, Girls like glitz. Girls like glamour. Most girls at least. And so in marriage, guys please, like your wedding rings, just be free of drama. Allow us to be the drama queens. Oh, and one more thing – just as the girl’s ring is often more expensive than the man, so our wardrobe should be, Yes, spend all your money on buying us nice fabulous things. I joke. Kinda. Not really. 

Ultimately, when I look at my ring, I feel a sense of pride that I married a good man. Thanks for being awesome Tee (91.6 % of the time!).

Your turn: Married? What does your ring mean to you? (Not bondage I hope). Single: Do you have an idea what kind of ring you want?. Share your ring tales!

Love,

Kachee… Xx

pS: Can someone please recommend finger exercises. I’m not quite ready to resize this ring!

Shikena* – means ‘finished’, ‘the end’ or ‘period’ in Hausa Language.


56 COMMENTS

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56 Comments

  1. ALABATA OYELAMI

    April 20, 2016 at 18:15

    My wife still teases me that I never proposed to her. It’s true I didn’t “propose”. But wait a minute, what the heck was I doing with her for about seven years before our wedding?! Lesson for the yet to be married women folks: it’s not every guy that will do proposal “thingy” yet his CLEAR mission is not in doubt.

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      April 21, 2016 at 13:59

      Lol! I often wonder whether proposals are not overrated. Surely before the proposal, we must have been talking about our future and all now. Thank you for dropping by.

      Reply
    • KC

      April 30, 2016 at 10:16

      Lol….I just tried to imagine being proposed to after being in relationship for 7 years. Nope….I will say let’s go right into it baby, don’t sweat it.

      Reply
  2. Macdonald

    April 20, 2016 at 19:24

    Hmmm; now I have succeeded in getting myself into ‘small trouble’. The lessons from this piece are worth sharing so I made an invite to my lady to join me in reading and of course she obliged. Now we are done reading this wonderful write-up and my lady now desires a yellow gold ring. In fact, she requested that I call or write you Kachi to get the exact make of your ring; lol.Nice one Kachi…, the lessons are noted.

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      April 20, 2016 at 19:49

      Mac! Long time no see! Loool @ small trouble. I’m sure she’s just kidding. Like my sister said, any ring she gets she will love it so much. I guess you are getting her a ring soon then? *wink.Thanks again for stopping by. Appreciate!

      Reply
      • Osar'

        May 2, 2016 at 00:45

        Lol Kachi, who told you she’s kidding??? The babe says she wants ring you’re saying joking.Mac, don’t dull! Lol.

        Reply
  3. Precious Nkeih

    April 21, 2016 at 13:04

    Hahahaha finger exercises? This was a delight to read. I so much love the second point. A successful marriage doesn’t just happen. It is the result of deliberate action. Blessings to you and Tee.Precious Core Blog

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      April 21, 2016 at 14:00

      Thank you so much. It is definitely a deliberate choice. Xx

      Reply
  4. Berry Dakara

    April 24, 2016 at 02:17

    I had just 2 requests for my engagement ring – I didn’t want diamonds, and I didn’t want anything overly expensive. My sister helped Cakes pick out my ring and I love it!My wedding bands (yup, 2 of them), I’m actually not even sure what they are, but I like them too.But I forget to wear them often. I’m the kind of person that takes off her rings when she gets home, or is doing dishes, or her hair or whatever. Half the time, it’s after I’ve been out for an hour plus that I discover I’ve forgotten them at home – and I usually remember because I don’t feel the ring my dad gave to me on my hand. For someone who wailed over seemingly losing her engagement ring, I’m not overly sentimental about the wedding bands. *shrugs*Hehe, when I’m annoyed at him, I take off my rings too… and if I feel guilty enough I put them back on.Berry Dakara Blog

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      April 24, 2016 at 21:21

      Oh definitely I hardly wear my ring at home – def off when doing dishes and all. I was surprised to learn some people have never taken off their rings. I think that taking the rings off is so funny when upset at them is so funny – like it actually makes us feel better. Thanks for your comment!

      Reply
  5. Nengi

    April 25, 2016 at 00:05

    Great lessons to learn from a ring! My engage mentoring was a tiny bit bigger so T decided to go smaller for my wedding band and that turned out to be tight! It was quite a struggle getting it on that day, lol. Funny thing is they both fit perfectly now!

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      April 25, 2016 at 23:53

      I just pictured the struggle to fit it in on the day. Loool! Wondering how they both fit now though. One that was bigger and one that was smaller. But thank God they do.

      Reply
      • Nengi

        April 26, 2016 at 05:06

        Well the good thing is that we exchanged rings in the pastor’s office as our church uses the bible to join the couple. I had my sis pass me lotion before hand and I put it on myself, lol! As to how the both fit now, I think the “tighter” one has left a permanent dent/grove so it just fits and the bigger one wasn’t so big so it just stays put. It’s still pretty easy to maneuver. The tight one will only fit my left hand perfectly. It still feels tight if I wear it on the right. P.s. I’m one of those people who never takes off her ring. Except to detangle my hair or mix pastry, lol.

        Reply
        • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

          May 1, 2016 at 15:38

          Lol! @ using lotion. When mine gets stuck I use soap and water – comes off so easily.You try oh – not a fan of jewellery. I take off earrings, rings and I can’t really wear necklaces: It hurts my neck.

          Reply
  6. Toluwalade Toyin-Kehinde

    April 25, 2016 at 08:45

    amazing how you pulled up these lessons from a ring..I’m not close to getting married anytime soon but i’ll definitely keep these with me.www.toyinwithfashion.com

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      April 25, 2016 at 12:03

      Thanks Tolu!!… and you’re in the Philippines? That must be quite an experience.

      Reply
  7. Uju Ayalogu

    April 26, 2016 at 09:38

    My ring finger is a size 6. And I’m fond of wearing fashion rings and taking them off often. When I get married, I want to put both rings together on a chain and wear them there or leave them in my house. It does not matter if anyone knows I’m married. It’s not their business, really.http://insearchofperfecthai

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      April 26, 2016 at 10:52

      Good to know I’m not weird because I really considered wearing my engagement ring on my neck because people just kept asking questions I wasn’t quite ready to answer. Lol. It’s really nobody’s business. Whatever tickles your fancy. Thanks for your comment! Xx

      Reply
  8. KIKELOMO OMOTALADE

    April 26, 2016 at 10:29

    I think i will want a big ring(all those 3 in 1 kinda bands) that will occupy my whole finger…….joking but a white gold 3 in 1 that’s affordable and i will like for that of my hubs to be stoned round the band too(if he likes it)

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      April 26, 2016 at 10:55

      Lol @occupy your finger. I’ve actually seen those three in ones and I like them. Maybe when the time eventually comes to change this, I’ll consider. Let’s hope the future hubs likes the stones…Xx

      Reply
  9. Afoma

    April 26, 2016 at 16:49

    Love this post; so well thought out and all valid points.

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      April 26, 2016 at 17:49

      Thanks so much Afoma!! ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

      Reply
  10. KC

    April 30, 2016 at 10:45

    Kachi, i love your wedding ring. It’s so cute. I am the yellow gold fan too. Mine is something like yours. But the small diamonds on my engagement ring are aligned in 2 overlapping circles; and the convex part of the wedding band, designed to seat just on top of the circular part of my engagement ring, is aligned with small diamonds too.My point: I’m not a fan of big diamonds….I love them tiny sweetly ‘cutite’…with class of course…..lol.My dear, I know you said no third parties. But here is the deal, your first ring is symbolic. “Na the ring of love everlasting be that o”…hmm…This is the only ring that has survived ‘gari-soaking’, friendship and love. So I will opt for resizing. But it’s up to you though.PS: My hubby and I don’t wear our rings …lool. I wear mine only to Church and on spรฉcial occasions. I guess our marriage is not in the ring๐Ÿ˜Š.

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      May 1, 2016 at 15:42

      Thank you KC! looool @ convex part of the band. Did you not read my ‘How I almost became a Quack Doctor’ post about how much it took me to understand concave and convex! Lol@ the ring of everlasting love… I’m def open to re-sizing. And I said genuine third party advice is welcome.Was that a conscious decision you both took? Not to wear your rings… that’s interesting, but obviously you’re correct.. your marriage is not in the ring!

      Reply
      • KC

        May 2, 2016 at 23:01

        You figured I stole ‘convex’ from your ‘Quack Doctor’ blog….lol. And the ‘gari-soaking’ too… loool. Thanks for making the vocab. easy!About the ring, ….it was not a conscious effort. Don’t mind me and my hubby. We both don’t like the idea of wearing our rings 24/7…..with the dish washing, diaper changing..urgh! But my hubby is terrible with remembering to wear his ring. I told him I did not care, and so he relaxed. As for me, I lost so much weight when I was in Nigeria, after my hubby left for the US. So I almost lost my engagement ring because it was always falling off. Now, it fits fine….and so I got used to not wearing it everyday….

        Reply
  11. Osar'

    May 2, 2016 at 01:14

    “…conscious decision to love this person that I have chosen”‘. I like that.

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      June 3, 2016 at 09:22

      Trust me in those annoying moments, you remind yourself of this. Lool.

      Reply
  12. Eziaha

    May 6, 2016 at 18:05

    This Post reminds me that i need a new ring (no thats not all i got from the post. Just 91.6%) and i mean a decadently expensive diamond sapphire ring (bae just incase u find this Chick’s blog)My wedding ring was bought on a budget. We agreed henever we do a Dubai vacay we will change it. Just waiting for our bank accounts to agree with us.The ring has been tight from day 1. But i LOVE it and until that decadent ring happens, i wear it (tho i did get new rings at two different times as i ballooned. Now i am back to my first love.I told u 91.6% abi? LolBut then the points here resonate. This marriage needs constant work. And yes to NO DRAMA in guys bikoEwwwwwwwwww
    LoveE’eziaha.com

    Reply
    • KacheeTee

      May 9, 2016 at 12:39

      Loool! I see what you did there with 91.6%! I could mistakenly just email this post to Bae. Hahaha. Ofcourse your back to your first love! back to pre-wedding body and all. You just inspire me. Maybe I shouldn’t even think I’ll grow fat and have to change my rings. Your bank accounts have already agreed with you!! Go!

      Reply
  13. Aramide

    May 7, 2016 at 20:37

    Hiya.
    Nice blog u have here. Well done!
    I thought the lessons came before the details – so I struggled to see the connection, but when I got to 5 or so I figured they were after the details. Thanks for sharing them. And God bless your marriage!
    I’m single, so I will talk about the kind of ring I will like to have. Platinum, moderate sized stone and an uncommon design. Plus I will definitely love to pick my ring ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • KacheeTee

      May 7, 2016 at 21:47

      Thanks Aramide!! Sorry for the confusion on the post. An uncommon design is definitely a win! Let’s hope you get to pick it… fingers crossed

      Reply
  14. Tamie

    May 10, 2016 at 16:44

    Oh I liked the fact that there were lessons from every bit of the story.I would love a coloured stone for my engagement ring-blue,purple,or dark green.And the tiniest bronze band ever liveth for my wedding band. Unless something else catches my fancy.

    Reply
  15. B ee

    July 1, 2016 at 09:08

    Married for 4 years now, and the rings have never left my finger….i sleep, wash, cook and do anything you can think of with it… This way the finger gets adjusted to the ring size and it never gets too tight and too loose. By the way, i am loving your blog, stumbled on it today through Berry Dakara’s blog. Keep it up.

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 1, 2016 at 14:07

      Hi Bee!Thank you!!!! I really appreciate. I know a lot of people who never take off their ring as well. I think I’m just not a huge fan of jewellery that’s why! Thanks for dropping a comment. Xx

      Reply
  16. Yummy Mum Life

    July 13, 2016 at 23:30

    Love this post.I lost the engagement ring hubby proposed with on my way to the east so i’ve gotten another and a band to match.Truth is I don’t pay the rings much attention.I see one I like and if I can afford it I buy and knack the thing on my finger,end of story!One thing is that I always feel a sense of pride wearing my rings because the man behind the whole thing is a blessing.www.cheecheelive.com

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 15, 2016 at 15:20

      Looool!! Knack the thing on your finger!! Lool! I know what you mean by that sense of pride. A good man is such a blessing!

      Reply
  17. Abby

    July 17, 2016 at 20:22

    So interesting how you’ve drawn up these beautiful lessons from your ring. I do have an idea of the type of ring I want, and why must it be two rings for the woman though? Can’t I wear just one? :/ LOL

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 17, 2016 at 20:24

      Yay! You commented. I guess it’s because we get an engagement ring. But there are no hard rules I think. These days, some people wear three! Interestingly I was just thinking of this post because I hadn’t seen my rings since yesterday and was having a panic attack. Just found it this second!

      Reply
      • Abby

        July 17, 2016 at 20:28

        Yes o! I finally did! bout to flood your posts with my comments. HeheheheI really dont like the rings with rocks. I’m fine with the band (that come with stones round them) alone, maybe when the time comes I’ll probably have a different view. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Reply
        • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

          July 17, 2016 at 20:30

          Flood Flood! Oh I know those kind of bands. But the rock ones are usually the engagement rings. Will you discard that? Oh well, when the time comes, we’ll know!

          Reply
  18. Simi Olusola

    July 22, 2016 at 18:01

    As for me, I don’t even want an engagement or a wedding ring. For my proposal, if SO decides to do it, I want a chain with a locket and that is it. I don’t want rings for two reasons. One is that I am not at all a jewelry person, I wear the tiniest studs on my ears and that is it. The other is that ‘the marriage is not in the ring’, I think I have been put off by those who flaunt their rings in order to put other women and those to whom if you do not have a ring on your finger, you are incomplete. Plus I am not sure I like the story behind the origin of the rings. Sha, I do not want rings. I don’t know how we will go about this during the church wedding yet sha. Ka sha maa wo.P.S Hian, the process for ‘qualifying’ to leave a comment on your blog is long o. Signing up and verification. Been running away from it for a while, guess I had time on my hands today

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 25, 2016 at 08:55

      Sorry!! I know the procedure to sign up is such a long thing. But Disqus seems to be the latest commenting platform for blogs and websites. Pele, and thank you for taking the time to do so. I really appreciate.Ohhhh! You don’t want any ring? But will you wear the locket everyday? I get what you mean by people flaunting their rings. But people also flaunt their clothes , but we can’t now go naked. Re origin, a lot of things (even Christian beliefs) have pagan origins as well. Loool. But everyone mustn’t be the same so if that works for you biko, go ahead!. As for the church matter, some churches don’t use rings sef and they just use the bible. So I don’t think you’l have a problem if you decide not to use!

      Reply
      • Simi Olusola

        July 31, 2016 at 06:40

        You have helped me look at my ‘concerns’ in a new light. Thanks! Still don’t want a ring sha, think all those my points were just excuses for my not wanting a ring. Tbh, I truly just have no desire to wear one.Wear the locket daily? Surely not. I do not even remember to wear earrings daily.

        Reply
        • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

          August 3, 2016 at 12:51

          Loool! I don’t wear earrings daily as well! Hurts my ears. You’re welcome! xx

          Reply
  19. AB x MeeMee

    July 26, 2016 at 18:50

    I like your ring. Nice lessons too. MeeMee knows she wants a black stone. I’ll be sure to tell her bae when they get there, lol. As for me, I have no idea and I don’t care much, to be honest. I barely wear jewelry, so a permanent ring would definitely take some getting used to!

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      July 27, 2016 at 11:30

      Thank you. I lost the band today and had a mini heart attack! Lodged an enquiry at the train station and all. Phew. So glad I found it! It definitely took some getting use to, but I feel so empty without it now. Black stone! Interesting. Make sure you’re on top of it and he doesn’t get something else forher behind your back. Lol! ps: Did one of you go to Cambridge?

      Reply
      • AB x MeeMee

        July 27, 2016 at 16:10

        Nope, no Cambridge ๐Ÿ™‚

        Reply
  20. Toyosi

    August 12, 2016 at 14:17

    I love your blog already. stumbled on it. i hate that i had to sign up tho lol loving the lessons on the ring.

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      August 12, 2016 at 14:27

      Sorry Toyosi! Lool. I know that get’s annoying, but it’s a once and for all sign up, and long as you don’t log out. Thank you! We hope you stay forever. Lol

      Reply
      • Toyosi

        August 12, 2016 at 14:34

        hehehe no problems, i hope so too. you write so well

        Reply
  21. favour moyse

    September 2, 2016 at 14:02

    Your ring is soooooo beautiful FIVE WAYS I PRAY FOR MY FUTURE HUSBAND ย 

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      September 2, 2016 at 14:06

      Thanks Favour!

      Reply
  22. Rikkie

    November 7, 2016 at 21:23

    Lovely post! Apt and subtle at the same time. I’ve always been a fan of big multi-stone rings and as such went all in when shopping for my wedding ring…18k gold, diamond stones and all…but then got ‘my ring’ lesson barely 5months after getting married…we got robbed in our home and the first thing snatched off me was my wedding rings; learnt a great lessons: not to allow surrounding circumstance(s) dictate the tune of my marriage because if the rings alone were the foundation of our marriage, then it would have been over before it even started. Ps: I still miss my rings but they have since been replaced.

    Reply
  23. Idongesit Akpan

    October 13, 2017 at 19:17

    I love this post! I would like a white diamond ring!

    Reply
    • Kachee || KacheeTee.com

      October 24, 2017 at 05:22

      Awww so glad you do. White diamonds are def a girl’s friends. Xx

      Reply
  24. Scott Gilbertson

    October 7, 2020 at 05:07

    Looks like I’m not the only one who didn’t propose. lol but we’re happy and we’re about to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary.

    Reply

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