These are one-liners, but pretty hilarious!
I really love a good joke or riddle, and I’m not sure why anyone wouldn’t!
So when I stumbled on these and after sharing some with Tee, I said to him “You know I have to blog about this right?”.
I wish I had shared them earlier so you could use them on Christmas Day, but it’s still the holiday season, so I’m sure it’s still useful. Most of them are actually riddles though so you could see how smart your friends are. A few came up at our office Christmas party and definitely got a lot of laughter around the table.
Let’s get right into it!
1. What is the best Christmas present in the world
2. What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?
3. Why are Christmas Trees like bad Knitters?
4. What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
5. What Christmas carol is heard in the Desert?
6. What did Adam say too his wife on the day before Christmas
7. What do you call a cat in the desert?
8. What song do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
9. What do you get when you meet a snowman with a vampire?
10. Who is Santa’s favourite Singer?
11. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
12. What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
13. What did Santa say to the smoker?
14. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
15. Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
16. Why does Santa have three gardens?
17. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a Chimney?
(This one took me a while to get!.. Like Santa Claus.. Claustrophobia!)
18. What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
19. Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars
20. What Athlete is warmest in winter?
21. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
22. Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
23. Did Rudolph go to school?
24. What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?
25. How does a snowman lose weight?
26. Which football team did the baby Jesus support?
27. What do you call an old snowman?
28. Who delivers presents to cats?
29. Why don’t you ever see a Santa at the hospital?
30. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
(Get it? The living Christmas trees are called Pines)
31. What is the worst disease that you get at Christmas?
32. How do sheep in Spain say Merry Christmas?
33. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
(Well, good play on Mincepie!)
34. What do snowmen eat for lunch?
35. Which of Santa’s reindeers have to mind their manners most?
36. Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
37. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
38. What do you call Father Christmas in the beach?
39. What did the sea Say to Santa?
40. What is the most competitive season?
41. Why is Santa so good at karate?
42. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
43. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
44. How do you scare a snowman?
45. How do you know when Santa’s in the room?
46. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
47. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
48. If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
49. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
50. Why did they let the chicken join the band?
51. What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
(Get it? He’s bald and can’t make a part on his hair!)
52. What do vampires put on their Christmas turkey?
53. How is the Christmas alphabet different from the ordinary alphabet?
54. Why wasn’t the turkey hungry at Christmas time?
55. What’s a dog’s favourite carol?
56. Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
57. What Nationality is Santa Claus?
58. Rudolph was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.”
His wife asked, “How do you know?”
“Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
(Haha. Play on “Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer”!)
59. How do Christmas trees keep their breath fresh?
60. What do you call Rudolph when he has lots of snow in his ears?
61. What do you call a Christmas tree with a really big nose?
62. Where does Santa Hang his suit after Christmas?
63. What did one Christmas angel say to the other?
64. What is the favorite Mexican food of snowmen?
65. What did the spider request for Christmas?
66. How do you decorate canoes for Christmas?
67. What’s a wolf’s favourite carol?
Okay, the end!
I really started off intending to just share a few and then I couldn’t stop myself.
I know some are really cheesy and after the answers you’re like ‘oh common!’. But did you enjoy them even slightly? or you guessed most of the answers?
Leave us a comment, and share your favourites from above or any other good clean holiday jokes you’ve got. Also feel free to share the post with friends and family.
pS; This post slightly reminds me of how much fun I had on this: 85 Words That Are Different in American & British English. And if you need a few more laughs, check out this compilation of First Date Disaster Stories!. If you’re after something more serious, 25 Microsoft Word Shortcuts that are Definitely Worth Knowing is a good one!