When you’re single, dating is like a necessary evil. It has to be done, till you find that one person whom you can (hopefully) tolerate their snores and constantly pick their clothes off the floor.
Till you find this person with whom you can finally be your complete silly self, so many first dates are probably involved.
I’ll continually harass Tee forever for not wearing socks on our first date. He claims the shoes didn’t require socks. They were FUBU trainers. I guess in 2007, I could forgive him for wearing FUBU trainers. But still, trust me, they needed socks. So a set of socks was the first gift I got him. Hahahaa. Cheeky Yeah? Nine years on, I’m still buying his socks… Take a cue from this and do not start what you cannot finish.
In a lame clap-back attempt, he claims I ate my chicken with my hands. Dude, those bones needed to be cracked. #NoShameInMyGame.
Anyway, in a recent campaign for a movie released yesterday ‘How to be Single’, people were encouraged to share their date disasters and the best ones get published on the Metro (London Daily Newspaper).
I’ve compiled some pretty hilarious ones below, and categorised them as well!
Have a good laugh, learn from them and if you are single, reasonably enjoy the dating cycle, (by which I mean meeting new people and pretty harmless dates…not bed-hopping!) because married dates consist of unbelievable amount of trips to IKEA!
“We are out on our 1st date and he bumps into his ex girlfriend and decides that they are getting back together”
“Got asked out on a date, yaaaay. The “date” location turned out to be their ex girlfriend”s wedding. Booooo. Awkward.”
“Met a guy for a drink and halfway through the date a woman came up and threw a drink over him..it was his girlfriends best friend!”
“On a date with a hot guy, just as we were about to order, his wife walked him and poured a bottle of water over him. He ran away so I had dinner with her!”
“After the date he told me his girlfriend made him go, to show him how good she is and he said I proved her right”
“It’s not that I didn’t like her mother, but she wasn’t exactly welcome on our first date”
“On a first date, the guy’s mum was so excited that he had a date (!) that she turned up with a picnic…I was mortified & hid behind a tree!”
“After one date, I discovered his mum had been sitting at a nearby table the whole time to watch over him!”
“Out for dinner: “My mum controls the ‘cash box’ she gave me enough for one course each, till she decides if you are worth more!”
“Blind date once asked me when my baby was due – I wasn’t pregnant though – just bloated – awkward!!”
“He asked me my favourite cereal, I said weetabix. He rubbed my stomach & said “Weetabix makes you poop, it’s high in fibre”.
“He ordered the most expensive steak on the menu. When the bill came, he told me he forgot his wallet”
“I had too much wine with dinner…offered to arm wrestle my date. He looked horrified”
“He invited me rock climbing. On arrival, I said ‘I’ve never been rock climbing on a date before.’ His awkward reply was ‘This isn’t a date.'”
“At a speed-dating event, some guy said: “tell me why I should waste 5 minutes of my life talking to you
“After two dates with a seemingly lovely lady, I found out she had photoshopped me into all of her Facebook pictures”
“On a first date with a guy, he suggested we go on holiday together and I should meet his whole family at his sister’s wedding”
“After the first date, he sent me a text proclaiming his infatuation for me, with no fewer than 15 smilies”
“My date told me how she’d dated a male model who had cheated on her, saying “I swore I’d never go out with a really good-looking guy again”
“Mid second date, the guy asks me what kind of pension plan I have as I was ‘getting on a bit…”
“I went to the toilet mid-date an accidentally sent the girl a text meant for my friend saying ‘she’s a 5/10′”
“5 minutes into the date he says ‘ Unfortunately I don’t fancy you, I’m still happy to have the meal but can we split the bill?'”
“Super handsome guy tells me ‘I like you better when you are drunk'”
“I went on a first date that I had been planning for ages. We got to the restaurant and it had burnt down. Literally on fire”
“I got a bit too tipsy on a date with a nice chap called Dan. Unfortunately I called him ‘Dad’ three times during the evening”
“I was set up on a blind date by my colleague…only to discover it was my old high school teacher…errrrr noooo…”
“Half way through the date, a guy asked me if he could pay to watch me shave my legs. I politely declined”
“I went on a first date with a guy who was obsessed with my red hair. He asked if he could wash it”
“Date after work – Guy asks me why I don’t wear makeup, then pulls out lipstick and foundation from HIS bag for me to use”
And that’s it folks!
Have you had any horrific/hilarious dating experiences? Please share! Which of these occurrences above would have led to a #ByeFelicia!?
pS: Has anyone actually seen the movie? I think it was brilliant publicity, but the reviews of the actual movie don’t look so good! Uh Oh!
ppS: Tee says he tolerates my snores and picks my clothes off the floor! Lies… Ok, just one is correct… Ok… Maybe both!