First Date Disasters!

by , on
February 20, 2016

When you’re single, dating is like a necessary evil.  It has to be done, till you find that one person whom you can (hopefully) tolerate their snores and constantly pick their clothes off the floor.

Till you find this person with whom you can finally be your complete silly self, so many first dates are probably involved.

first date gone wrong

I’ll continually harass Tee forever for not wearing socks on our first date. He claims the shoes didn’t require socks. They were FUBU trainers. I guess in 2007, I could forgive him for wearing FUBU trainers. But still, trust me, they needed socks. So a set of socks was the first gift I got him. Hahahaa. Cheeky Yeah? Nine years on, I’m still buying his socks… Take a cue from this and do not start what you cannot finish.

In a lame clap-back attempt, he claims I ate my chicken with my hands. Dude, those bones needed to be cracked. #NoShameInMyGame.

Anyway, in a recent campaign for a movie released yesterday ‘How to be Single’, people were encouraged to share their date disasters and the best ones get published on the Metro (London Daily Newspaper).

I’ve compiled some pretty hilarious ones below, and categorised them as well!

Have a good laugh, learn from them and if you are single, reasonably enjoy the dating cycle, (by which I mean meeting new people and pretty harmless dates…not bed-hopping!) because married dates consist of unbelievable amount of trips to IKEA!

The Ones with the Wife, Girlfriend or Ex…

  • “We are out on our 1st date and he bumps into his ex girlfriend and decides that they are getting back together”

  • “Got asked out on a date, yaaaay. The “date” location turned out to be their ex girlfriend”s wedding. Booooo. Awkward.”

  • “Met a guy for a drink and halfway through the date a woman came up and threw a drink over was his girlfriends best friend!”

  • “On a date with a hot guy, just as we were about to order, his wife walked him and poured a bottle of water over him. He ran away so I had dinner with her!”

  • “After the date he told me his girlfriend made him go, to show him how good she is and he said I proved her right”

Mummy’s Boys

  • “It’s not that I didn’t like her mother, but she wasn’t exactly welcome on our first date”

  • On a first date, the guy’s mum was so excited that he had a date (!) that she turned up with a picnic…I was mortified & hid behind a tree!”

  • “After one date, I discovered his mum had been sitting at a nearby table the whole time to watch over him!”

  • “Out for dinner: “My mum controls the ‘cash box’ she gave me enough for one course each, till she decides if you are worth more!”

Good Ol’ Food and Drink

  • “Blind date once asked me when my baby was due – I wasn’t pregnant though – just bloated – awkward!!”

  • “He asked me my favourite cereal, I said weetabix. He rubbed my stomach & said “Weetabix makes you poop, it’s high in fibre”.

  • “He ordered the most expensive steak on the menu. When the bill came, he told me he forgot his wallet”

  • “I had too much wine with dinner…offered to arm wrestle my date. He looked horrified”

Just Plain Un-Interested

  • “He invited me rock climbing. On arrival, I said ‘I’ve never been rock climbing on a date before.’ His awkward reply was ‘This isn’t a date.'”

  • “At a speed-dating event, some guy said: “tell me why I should waste 5 minutes of my life talking to you

Desperate Much?

  • “After two dates with a seemingly lovely lady, I found out she had photoshopped me into all of her Facebook pictures”

  • “On a first date with a guy, he suggested we go on holiday together and I should meet his whole family at his sister’s wedding”

  • “After the first date, he sent me a text proclaiming his infatuation for me, with no fewer than 15 smilies”

Catch your Sub

  • “My date told me how she’d dated a male model who had cheated on her, saying “I swore I’d never go out with a really good-looking guy again”

  • “Mid second date, the guy asks me what kind of pension plan I have as I was ‘getting on a bit…”

  • “I went to the toilet mid-date an accidentally sent the girl a text meant for my friend saying ‘she’s a 5/10′”

  • 5 minutes into the date he says ‘ Unfortunately I don’t fancy you, I’m still happy to have the meal but can we split the bill?'”

  • “Super handsome guy tells me ‘I like you better when you are drunk'”


  • “I went on a first date that I had been planning for ages. We got to the restaurant and it had burnt down. Literally on fire”

  • “I got a bit too tipsy on a date with a nice chap called Dan. Unfortunately I called him ‘Dad’ three times during the evening”

  • “I was set up on a blind date by my colleague…only to discover it was my old high school teacher…errrrr noooo…”


  • “Half way through the date, a guy asked me if he could pay to watch me shave my legs. I politely declined”

  • “I went on a first date with a guy who was obsessed with my red hair. He asked if he could wash it”

  • “Date after work – Guy asks me why I don’t wear makeup, then pulls out lipstick and foundation from HIS bag for me to use”

And that’s it folks!

Have you had any horrific/hilarious dating experiences? Please share! Which of these occurrences above would have led to a #ByeFelicia!?



pS: Has anyone actually seen the movie? I think it was brilliant publicity, but the reviews of the actual movie don’t look so good! Uh Oh!

ppS: Tee says he tolerates my snores and picks my clothes off the floor! Lies… Ok, just one is correct… Ok… Maybe both!


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


  1. pagesbyike

    February 21, 2016 at 00:20

    Lol! Weetabix 😂😂

    • Kachee ||

      February 21, 2016 at 17:10

      I thought that was quite funny!

  2. Adekemi Edema

    February 23, 2016 at 14:01

    Worst date for me? 100 level 2nd Semester, I had a “not so great” exam (GES 104). To cheer myself up, I agreed to go on a date with some guy. We got to Mr. Biggs at Bodija, Ibadan and they had closed, went to another restaurant and they offered us rice without meat (urrgh). I thought it could not get worse but voila, as we left, I took an “okada” (motorcycle) and got robbed by the okada rider and his colleague (they slapped me for asking for my sim card sef). Hmmm! I later went on another date to make him pay for my “woes” and I stopped speaking to him until recently.

    • Osar'

      February 25, 2016 at 02:53

      Babe…I remember this. I just laughed…harrrd!!!

    • Kachee ||

      February 25, 2016 at 10:40

      I remembered this and pictured his face! Looool!!!

  3. Tayo Adebayo

    February 24, 2016 at 15:51

    Wow Kachi this is awesome. I’m not surprised you are blogging!!! You need to shed some weight off that beautiful brain of yours. I never drop comments on articles but babe you’ve got me typing! U may be using UK voodoo for me i bet. lolWell i never imagined i’d be a” worst date” victim as i considered myself a pro but recently i got a shocker! So i’m on a date with this guy, the plan was to have drinks at Mason Fahrenheit with a few of his friends. I’m nicely dressed for the location and right in the middle of it all he whispers to me that we might have to leave soon because he wants to play football( something he does every Friday night) and this was about 9:30pm! I thought it was a joke till we left and actually went to the pitch. Just before we left i suggested we ordered finger foods as i was hungry and he said the pitch was beside The Place restaurant in lekki ( I love their food!) we got to the pitch and i said hey lets go get some food i’m famished, he told me” babes you want to eat and i want to play football” i thought i was dreaming, so i start walking down to The place hoping he was behind me….long and short i was ordering alone and he was playing on the pitch! i tried to keep my cool, when he finished playing he had the nerve to ask me why i didn’t watch him play even for 2 mins? my response was, ” i came out for drinks and not to watch amateurs goof around on a pitch playing football”. I was so pissed i asked him to drop me home and it was a very quiet ride home and yes i was boiling. I’m NEVER hanging out with that dude ever again!!!Hey don’t get me wrong, i love to watch football. I have friends invite me for leisure games which i attend but he never mentioned and i just wasn’t in the mood.And his excuse was oh he planned for us to go have shisha n eat after the game… was i to know? Am I a psychic to know whats in his head?Anyways this is a very good initiative and i love your style. very interesting and i’ve read 4 of your blogs already… boss mustn’t walk in on this!! My regards to Tola.

    • Kachee ||

      February 25, 2016 at 10:43

      Tayo!!!! Gosh so good to hear from you. Thank you. This doesn’t sound fun at all… Lol! And he didn’t even follow you to get the food! Guys and football though.. Phew!

  4. Osar'

    February 25, 2016 at 02:52

    Lol. The Weetabix guy rocked!

  5. Nneka Agbim

    February 29, 2016 at 21:29

    I’ve got one for you. First date with a guy (organised by your bored grandmother ), and after weathering the awkward storm that BOTH his parents are present for your first date, you jump and scream out loud when the father “gifts” you a substantial amount of British Pounds. Does awkward adequately describe such a situation?

    • Kachee ||

      February 29, 2016 at 21:49

      LMAO!!!! But it’s british £!! They will understand. That’s hilarious…

  6. Ore

    March 2, 2016 at 16:10

    I love your blog posts Kachi! They’re so relatable. Does having to pay for tickets to a movie for yourself and a date because he arrived late without said date refunding you or at least paying for his own ticket count as a date disaster? Lol. Oh, he paid for my cab home, does that make it any better?

    • Kachee ||

      March 4, 2016 at 19:10

      Ore thank you so much! I really do appreciate. Spread the word please? *batting my eyelashes*… As for your date, maybe he thought it was awkward refunding you… But I guess he paid for your cab, so many not TOO bad?

      • Ore

        March 4, 2016 at 20:47

        You’re welcome and yes, I shall spread the word. Yes, I thought about that too sha… It’s just one of those things that happen and you just want second opinion cos of the debate going on in your head. Not too bad, I guess. Thanks!

  7. Bagos Mutendi

    March 3, 2016 at 07:38

    Was wondering when I would share this story. Went on a date with this guy last year in Ibadan even though I was a little under the weather. I stopped to get medication before we would head off to a fancy restaurant or catch a movie at Heritage Mall, Ibadan (in my head though…lol). First, he took me to an amala joint (those ones you have to queue to wash your plates) and as if the shock wasn’t enough, he stopped to buy a loaf of bread and suya and without asking me proceeded to drive me home (maybe to pick up tracts for I told him i had this sudden need to puke and immediately i got down from the car, i sort of walked to his side of the car and slapped him hard across the face. I was beyong enraged!!!

    • Kachee ||

      March 4, 2016 at 19:08

      You slapped him?? Gurrllllllll… That’s harsh oh! And on that Amala P, I have a friend who you can only ‘toast’ by taking her to those joints where you wash plates oh. No ice cream r fancy restaurants for her oh. Lol!

      • Bagos Mutendi

        March 7, 2016 at 13:38

        I was aiming for a lighter version but you know females and our hormones na…

  8. Abby

    July 17, 2016 at 20:33

    Lmaoo! These date disasters are so funny to read! Not a disaster as such but I went out on a date one time with a Lawyer guy and then he showed up with his male lawyer colleague and his girlfriend who was a lawyer as well. The whole time they all just kept on talking about random law stuff that I couldn’t make any sense of. I was so damnnn boredddd! LOL

    • Kachee ||

      July 17, 2016 at 20:35

      I’m honestly not sure why Lawyers do that!! I’m sure I can be guilty as well. I apologise on their behalf especially as Law is so boring to non-lawyers! Lol

      • Abby

        July 17, 2016 at 21:07

        looool. I guess its in you peoples blood. Apology accepted!

  9. CherishExpress

    October 1, 2016 at 21:03

    I went on a so-called day with a guy whom I thought was nice. We were at an outdoor bar and halfway into the drink, he says I should go home together. I refused flat out and the next thing I knew was that my jaw had swollen. I had been slapped! The night ended with me having to sneak to find a cab (yes sneak) as he kept trailing me. It seemed like a horror movie.CherishExpress

    • Kachee ||

      October 1, 2016 at 21:06

      Oh my gooodness!!!!!! You are joking. That’s crazy!!! Wow. Thank God you were okay. Wow!

  10. Omowumi Oguntuase

    October 10, 2016 at 11:44

    Lmaaaoooo I’m laughing inside my head I can’t LOL at work! I’ve had my share of them and I even did a post on why people won’t get a second date https://wumituase.wordpress… See it’s so annoying ehn and there are too many types of men so you would most likely have a story to tell, funny thing is you never know what you sef did wrong LOL.

    • Kachee ||

      October 11, 2016 at 14:52

      I actually read this many times when I need a laugh! Loool. Dating comes with hilarious experiences. Can’t escape it.